here's where my head is at these days.
the theme of this topic is "my mental health" (yay that's exciting, always)
it's in the form of a poem called did you know (2016)
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did you know that if you only study 2 units per semester you are technically a "part time student" and not a "full time student"
and did you know that if you are a "part time student" you are not eligible for youth allowance in australia
and did you know that if you are a "part time student" you are not eligible for a concession opal card in nsw
and did you know that if you don't get youth allowance due to being a "part time student" then you don't get it again until you are a full time student again
and did you know that I am doing three subjects at uni
but did you know that i desperately want to drop one of them. and did you know? that was even my plan from the start, to drop this unit as late as possible to get as much youth allowance and concession time out of it
like did you know i haven't been to a single class and i've missed some homework handins for this class
did you know also that it is a fairly technical subject that i am struggling to understand (database systems 2)
did you know the last day to withdraw from a unit without penalty is august 31
(did you know thats today!!)
did you also know that i am moving house soon and money will be tight
did you also know that i am struggling with everything in my life to the point of having frequent breakdowns
and did you know that academic stress often contributes a lot to these breakdowns
and did you know i can't afford to keep this up both financially and mentally
did you know i have no idea what road to take, whether to drop the unit and pay more for everything with less money available, or to keep it up and go fucking insane and like, die (not literally die, like, die as in "im dieing" die)
and did yuo kno
wait no stop this isn't a poem this is just me explaining the fucking dilemma i'm in using formatting and the words "did you know" to trick you into reading it because i know you like poems ♥️
no i made that up i don't know if you like poems or not sorry it's bad to assume the experiences of other people. maybe you don't like poems that's cool too i love you anyway
anyway i hope i have made myself clear please just like give me a hug or something next time you see me because im going down the road of continuing this unit
and i don't know how i'll be able to cope with it or even begin to get back on track esp as it;s gonna need a lot of coding and coding makes my hands hurt again which makes me hate my life 4x as much
ugh im being a drama queen or some shit idk soz for being depressing im just stuck in my head etc.
aaaaaaaalso it's 1am and i've had alcohol for the first time in maybe 10 months and it affected me more than i thought it would so maybe this post came out of thattt umm idk idk bye
