why is corporate stuff so stressful

why is it always like.
"wow fantastic! would you like to come in for a catch up?"
like
why can't you just say "let's have an interview" why is corporate culture so veiled by this weird mask of familiarity. it unnerves me a bit (but i guess i'm just not used to it yet uhh). je ne comprends pas porquoi
anyway uhh
finding a job in the real world sucks publish post


edit: wow ok old people are really bad at being formal in their emails huh

finished kpop songs vs the demo's they came from (just found this kinda interesting)

most of them begin as english songs

Different choices for different reasons...

Last night, I went out and had a lot to drink. I went to a rooftop bar in East London and we did bowls and played giant jenga and had drinks then we went to a Karaoke bar and had more drinks.
At maybe 1am when we were sitting in the karaoke bar, I realised I hadn't been that drunk since Sydney or felt so free in a young person way.

I'm not unhappy with my life, but in some ways there is a divide between us as a group (which isn't a bad thing per se). Last night, I caught a small glimpse of how this is happening. Short statement, this is not about my ego or about my life not being what I want or about other people being successful or being unhappy. It's about choices.

The reality of my life is I work a job with a lot of career potential and I have set my career up to be really successful. I'm very aware that in context, I'm incredibly young. I'm very driven, and I have received a lot from my job but I also have had to make sacrifices.
To be the person I am, live the life I am living and be trusted to do what I do, there are a set of expected behaviours. In some way, a set of chosen behaviours which match to an age which is older than me and generally quite conservative. I have accepted these, because of what I want in my life. This, in turn, has meant I have not done a lot of things which I might have done if I'd been working in a bar or still at University, and vice versa, with this job, I've been able to do some really cool stuff.

So back to last night, sitting in the karaoke bar at 1am. I was having fun. In all this expectation and career and 'being an adult', I'd convinced myself that doing careless, stupid, drunk things like this wasn't fun. In a way, to stop feeling bad when that's not the life I can realistically have with the job that I have for multiple reasons that I will not go into.

I'm not regretful of the choices I have made, it's just that, they are choices for my life to be a certain way and I'm ok with that. I think sometimes the choices I've made maybe were too conservative and that's something for me to think about. But I'm also ok with people making different choices. I guess it's just important to be aware that we all make different choices for different reasons.

idk what it is about this song but damn. it gets me

Wait for the video to pan out to the crowd

Now imagine me in the 3rd row. Goddamn life is good right now.

Wild wild Toronto???

Hey guys,

last Saturday, I went out for a picnic with some people and it was super chill and nice. I mean it was 37 degrees and people were like saying it was crazy hot but tbh it was nice.

Around like 7pm, we left and took the TTC (Torono transit commision) Street car to go to the main part of the city to take the subway to wherever we were going. A few of my friends were going to go to a drag show with me. So we are chilling and talking in the street car and we were riding down Queen st pass the clubbing district, next minute we hear like 3 "Poom Poom Pooms" and I thought it was like fireworks cause Canada Day is the day after but then people were like shouting "Shooting" and the bus driver shouted "Everyone get down" or something like that, and then everyone was on the ground of the street car like squatting. And then we hear another 3 shots and I can't see shit cause I'm squatting in this street car but I can see people around me crying (in the streetcar) and I can also see like, people on the second floor of buildings using their iphones to film something on the street. We stay like this for like a while until we hear sirens coming.

I don't know whether it was like paranoia or some shit but I was like, right next to the back door of the street car where it's glass or plastic and I was like thinking, if someone shoot this back door they be shooting me.. hmmm.. but then someone else told me that in previous shootings, gun fire can go through the whole streetcar (like the metal bits) and I was like oh ok.
I feel like it was more of the energy that was scary cause I was like, in denial for the longest time but people kept screaming and crying and calling other people having panic attacks. One person died and 3 people were injured in the thing.

Once we got off the streetcar, somebody told us that the shooter hadn't been caught yet, so we walked down 2 blocks to go get the other streetcar (which we didn't pay for cause we paid for the first one). There was this one guy walking behind us on his phone, and he shouted at the top of his lungs "WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU" and we all freaked?? Cause any sudden loud shouting was suddenly freaky???

Anyway, i'm just writing this cause it was wild. Is this what it feel like to live in America???

And yesterday there was another shooting in Kensington but no one died. Apparently it's all these rapper gang targetted shootings so it's not so bad but like, i feel like Tarana people are trying to imitate american gang life and it's hurting innocent people??? I don't like it, it's making people more paranoid. Like yesterday someone's tire blew out on the street and I thought it was a shooting outside me apartment??? I feel like I'm crazy.

THanks for reading

hey. a good mashup

Orange Carame / Madonna ~ catallena x hung up

Me, a working man

Hey guys, Currently I am a working man and I'm living in an office world. I keep doing this thing where I make jokes to myself and find them really funny. And although it won't be funny as I recount them here, I'm still going to tell you. We had like a training session on how to use this database thing, and the person doing the training is walking us through the system. You have to use a made up name in the training and for some reason she uses the name "Shrek". (Just so you know she's like a forty year old corporate women with blonde dyed hair who wears a blazer and heels everyday) and so firstly, I was the only person in the room to release a really shout but loud laugh. And then I started like drawing Shrek related shit in my notebook like "Shrek is love, Shrek is life" and I started losing my shit by myself in a boardroom of like 15 people. Like I'm just sitting there with an un-explainable grin on my face holding myself back. Then today, we were like doing another excel training thing, and the guy incharge puts everyone's initials on the spreadsheet to track like which rows and shit we are assigned to (like for me it's RY). There's this one guy in my team who's name is Michael M, but for some reason the guy incharge puts his name down as MP. So Michael is like, hey my initials are MM not MP, just wanted to make sure that i'm on the spreadsheet. So the guy incharge goes to change it but for some reason it's like a really long process to change the name. And I started thinking of different things that MP can stand for some reason I thought of MR. Potatohead and to me, this is the funniest shit. So for literally the rest of the training session (15 mins) I'm like trying to hold myself back from laughing cause I'm so fucking funny to myself. Anyway, hope there will be people in the world out there who find me funny the way I find me funny. xox.

c'est moi maintenant

(the last chapter of one piece tho...got me)

video choon

O.o

hey

you know what

why does getting creeped on feel bad? Like sometimes someones bein a crepe and it's kinda light hearted or easy to ignore or funny (like if i dumb random shouts something at you they perceive to be a compliment, or some pathetic individual trying to buy you a drink in the most awkward way possible)

but also why are some people incapable of hitting on others / flirting without being a total creep? Like is it our responsibility to explain to them 'this is not how you do it'

anyway.

but today for some reason i just feel really bad. like some guy at my office put his hand on my shoulder that was immediately received by me to be suuuppppeerrr uncomfortable

and like it wasn't super offensive and could be a platonic kinda 'hey bud' shoulder grab

which happens all the time with other people and is cool normally.

but for some reason. i was just like. erghhhh

but you like can't call someone out without seeming like you're overreacting? IDK. anyway luckily madichan was there and could verify creepy vibes for me. like, is having creepy vibes enough to say 'hey man don't be doing that' without sounding like a crazy person? You know like when straight boys don't make their intentions clear because of their fear of rejection... and I don't know how to make them not do those things that can be played off as harmless platonic activities, but like I'm pretty sure they're tryin something. You know??? ANYWAY. feeels bad!!!

but like. why did such a small action feel so bad if it wasn't really like anything? why does it feel so gross??

And it's like easier to ignore the person instead of doing the whole 'hey let me tell you not to do that thing eventhough you didnt really do anything i guess, but still it makes people feel weird like sorry' but also i don't want to be apologetic at all. i just want people to not be creepy so no one has to deal with stuff like this.

update: I think it feels the worse when you're trying to be nice to people (for no reason!) and you trust them to not be creep but then they creep!!
like i don't have time or any sort of capacity for more people in my life but i felt obligated and they turn out to be creep! why


Also another random thing - since i've started following famous people specific to my interest on instagram, i find the platform so entertaining! and i keep liking posts! all of them. like yes, this is all content that i enjoy all the time! wow internet.

Wanted to update you guys on a great new development in my life

In my school,

I have slowly created this reputation of myself that I like will eat anyone's leftovers. I usually bring home all the potluck food to save money and have delicious perogies as lunch for the next 3 days (i literally bring extra containers to school...)

But now all this has paid off.
I have had 3 people who made too much food at home, physically bring me a meal to class. Like they didn't bring it to school to eat and give me leftovers, they brought it from home to specifically give to me like im a dogg. It was like "hey Ru, I made too much food last Saturday so I brought some for you here you go."

So I've had homemade delicious chicken stroganoff, beef curry and a chicken pot pie. It's all happen in the last week. I am very excited for what the future holds and hope that this will continue.

That's all.

Also this is one of my new favourite animals:
The Noble Sea TOAD

It has feet. and walks since it lives at the bottom of the ocean.

Baleen of toothless whales

quick fun fact: the sperm whale is the largest toothed animal

Hey so you may know that some whales have teeth while others have baleen. 

But did you know what baleen actually looks like

These goddamn fringe tassel things coming out of this Bowhead Whale's mouth are baleen plates.

LOOK AT THIS GODDAMN THING



(that's a decapitated whale from an Inupiat whale harvest. They use the baleen in crafts apparently and a lot of people feast from the blubber of 1 whale. also scientists are involved and allowed to take organ samples.


BUT WHAT IN THE HECk

Whales man.
what the hell.

I've literally been spending the last 3 hours reading and watching videos on whales and giant/colossal squids.

WHta the fuck nature.

Did you know that some whalers opened a bowhead and found harpoons in it that was super old?? that's when they were like 'yoo how old is this whale'. Turns out, these big ass underwater mammal things can live longer than 200 years!!!!! and they super rarely get cancer. Scientists are like studying their genome to see if it can help us treat/prevent cancer in humans


Oh btw the baleen is the thing that toothless whales use to eat, They take a mouthful of water, then push the water out of the baleen leaving the tiny animals inside.  the whale then scrapes the food bits off the baleen with their tongue to eat.