did i tell you guys that some bitch ass motherfucker stole my lunch at uni

like it was in the communal fridge (I put it there in the morning)
and then i went to get it at 4pm, super hungry by this point
it is not where I left it (behind my up&go)
I search the whole fridge
I search the fridge next to it
It is not anywhere
I lose my shit
I go to the communal table and ask if anyone's seen it
'Are you sure you havnt already eaten it'
'Are you sure you packed it today'

bitch ass motherfuckers

so anyway, I'm like describing the container.
I see a dude get up off the sofa holding an empty container identical to mine (he walks to elevator and doesnt even wash it at the sink)
I get ideas
no wait hui he probably has the same container, it's pretty common

Nay be like 'yo was there a chicken drumstick in your box' She caught him gnawing off a bone minutes ago.
And we both sniff the air
the distinct scent of singaporean chicken curry is lingering in our vicinity
Other friend Nina says she saw him eat rice and leaves out of the container earlier on
From my previous raid of the fridge, I have verified that no other lunch box present resembled mine. There could not have been a mistaking of identical lunch boxes.
Also the meal had to be heated up and consumed, 2 events that would have brought to light that the food was indeed not what anyone else had prepared that day.

Goddamn motherfucker ate my lunch. Stole it. and stole my container. Went through the fridge, opened up a plastic bag, heated it up and ate it. I consumed packet miso soup instead. after 6 hours of not eating I only have miso soup for lunch. Instead of the delicious complete meal I went to the effort of assembling that morning
This was last wednesday.

So I've basically told the whole building about it. Trying to make everyone turn on this dude. He doesnt even belong on this level. Like he just comes here and uses our lounge area. I'm pretty sure he's a member of teaching staff. Also he's a grown ass man

So since last thursday, I've been looking out for this guy. My anger growing each day.
I just want my container cleaned and returned

Tuesday this week: It's 5.30pm, I have left the building. Claire and a few others have not. They see the food thief enter the common area. Claire confronts thief (doesn't do a very good job)

"So last week" she says (paraphased obviously) "Did you eat a yellow chicken curry that had a drumstick in it and some rice in a container that was clear with a blue lid"

"No I did not, it also had potatoes in it. I didn't eat that'

Of course it had potatoes in it you motherfucker. Its a singaporean curry you bastard.

Anyway he apparently denied it and insisted it was not the meal Claire had described. But wait. She didnt even mention what day last week it was.

Motherfucker knew which day she was talking about
Motherfucker is aware of his actions. Appaz he kept a shady smirk on his face the whole time
The confrontation concludes and he rummages through the fridge. Before not taking out anything. probably sussing out what else he can scavenge

Anyway she returns awkwardly to the cohort where everyone's like 'What else were you expecting him to say'

Anyway it's been more than a week since the incident. I'm still looking out for the shithat. I've also grown more insane each day. I've brought another container like the one he stole. I'm going to ask him where he bought it from. I'm going to ask him if like me, it was bought from Aldi. Then I'm going to say I did not buy it from aldi. I'm gonna catch him in a lie. I'm going to expose him. I'm going to generate mistrust against him from everyone. He will get it. He's gonna learn he messed with the wrong honours student.

This is exactly the kind of shit that would only happen to me out of everyone
I'm going to hunt him down