I miss you guys.

I've been here at the farm for probably six months now, and while I love every second of the fresh air and nature and ability to yell at the clouds, I've been pretty much by myself aside from my grandma and aunt, plus whoever in my family comes to visit every now and then. I mean they're cool people and I've started to grow fonder of the middle aged worldview, but man does it get hard being the only young person around.

I mean, I guess I could put more effort into meeting new people, but it's kinda hard when you don't know anyone to go out and meet new people with in the first place, plus there's really only pubs and stuff to meet people in, which doesn't really appeal to me these days. My aunt semi-introduced me to one of her friend's daughters, and she was cool, but she lives in Sydney so we mostly just talk by text. I've tried using Tinder, but I figure I'm just too isolated because there's not many people on it. I've even included guys in my list, but most of 'em want to just hook up, which I'm not really down for. One positive of this is that I now truly understand just how thirsty males can be. I may have some friends from my Canberra days coming to visit in the summer, but that's a while away, so for the time being it's probably just gonna be me.

Other than this though I'm finding country life suits me more and more. It turns out I fucking love hiking - if you told that I would end up feeling this way a few years ago I probably wouldn't have believed you. Also, I've been reading heaps, mostly just from books that have been laying around, which is cool. Did you guys know that early Christianity was heavily influenced by Neo-Platonic philosophy? I didn't, until I read it.

Anyway I hope everyone is doing well as always.

I'm tryna like cope

You know for the past 3 months I've been living the good life. I know ive been lucky and shit cause look at my daily life:

7:30 am - wake up in the morning (I used to wake up at 6:30am to exercise in the morning but that lasted like 3 weeks)

7:45 am - eat breakfast and take malaria pills

8:00 am - walk to work office and start work

12:00 pm - lunch time 

12:30 pm - find my village homies so i can borrow motorbikes from moms and dads to go to other villages 

4:00 pm - barely make it back in time to teach Adult English classes

6:00 pm - play volleyball with the villagers (who are all fuckin beasts) or go rowing/swimming/playing with my best children friends 

7:00 pm - electricity turns on!! Goes back to office to work 

8:30 pm - dinner time (eat like 3 servings) and play with children 

9:00 pm - go back to work in officr

10:00 pm - if work not hectic play with children 

11:00 pm - children go to sleep so hang out with 16 - 25 year old dudes always drinking and smoking

2:00 am - sneak into the house through my bedroom window so i dont have to wake me house mom up

Repeat everyday and still have energy somehow??? Man its weird like waking up and not hearing ocean waves or swimming inbetween work breaks. Or like when i'm feeling tired and just chilling in my house, not having a bunch of kids turn up to wake me up in the afternoon and learn choreographed zumba dances together until we know em properly. Not being able to knock on random childrens doors when i need someone to play with anytime. Not being able to go into anyones house and just borrow their facewash when i feel gross? Not having the satisfaction of feeling like im working hard and playing hard everyday and loving every single second of my life in the village. Not seeing a million stars light up the ceiling of my village. Not being able to take naps on my friends house floor cause they dont have beds but its fine it feels okay and they dont think i need a bed and really i dont.

I got so used to living in the village where community is great and people are nice but i forgot how poor my village is until i visit another village but it doesnt matter to me????

But its still good? Like i used to get so bogged down by what people think cause as cliche as ot is people here (toronto) care about work and status and image and sometimes the second you look like you not doing well people look down on you and they cant help it, theyve been trained to live like that and it used to feel hella bad but i realize i dont care about that i just wanna live my life and be cool eat tacos and fry bread and shit.

Man so many things happened but it feels lie its just a dream. Ive been trying for the past week to phone my villager friends but its like impossible cause most times there arent any phone signal but it sucked. Even though every day, hour, minute and second in my village i always thought "fuck cherish this moment, remember this forever never take any second here for granted" to prepare myself so that i would have no regrets when i left. That i could truly said i did as much as i could and lived to the fullest, still it hurt to leave so bad.

Have you ever left one person you truly truly loved with all your heart? Can you imagine leaving like 30 of them? True happiness always comes with true sadness... 

Saaaaddddddd (a shameless whinge by me)

Reality sucks I don't want to do it. I don't want to go home. I want to go back to mykonos and spend all my money.

I'm so sad to have left quad bike-white square house-hot skimpy people-party Island. It was literally like spooky Island but not spooky. I miss 100% of people driving on quads or scooters at 5am being intoxicated. We entered the club with 5 people on the quad that one time. It was soooo good.

The last night when me Alex and Marlena walked up the steepest dirt road to get home at 3am listening to daft punk was amazing. We turned around occasionally to look back at the city lights so far away. As we rode off on the ferry to Athens the next morning, digital love played in my head as I stared sobbing at the waves. Goodbye perfect party island. Good bye perfect Alex Passas. I don't want to face reality.

Also wow I have been unhealthy. Felt tired today but then I had an ice coffee and a dart and I'm good to go. My new phone is already ducked because we were crushing drugs on it lol