You hear about this?

It's pretty damn cool, 2015!

It's been a long fucking time.

Hey guys, long time no see lol

I totally forgot about this blog for about a year and so I thought to myself "is the blog still a thing?". Of course it's still a thing. I fucking love you guys, seriously.

So I just thought I would write about me now. Like my life now and maybe a little about the future even though I don't know what it will be.

So I'm in Japan, living with my mum, which has been weird because it's kind of the first time I've really lived with her since high school, I'm mean there's been a few months here and there but this has been legit living with her and it's totally... I mean it's different (I mean it was like 3 years of living by myself) but at the same time I've really quickly fallen back into my same old habits. Which means I'm probably more of a piece of shit than ever (for example it's 6 40 am and I still haven't gone to sleep (same shit different country)) . I've got old bad habits and new ones rolled in to one lazy mother fucker, but hey maybe I'll  turn my life around :p. Family isn't doing so well, my mum and uncle are having this big inheritance battle even though my grandparents aren't even fucking dead yet and it's just about the shittest thing that can happen to a family. It's fucking weird because it's like when I was here last year it was all chill but now just  fucking just attacking the each other in court  and shit and it's just so fucking sad, but I'm happy I'm here to support my mum emotionally. I teach English and tend bar. It's good because they're both jobs were you don't really need excellent Japanese skills and and the hours don't overlap often. Japanese is improving however, a lot of my students can't speak much English at all and  a lot of random drunk Japanese people off the street don't either. Obviously I don't have any qualifications for either but. ... I dunno I've managed not to kill anyone so far. I got one really close friend, max, whose this German dude who's like 6 foot 8 and super cool. He's an engineer doing an internship with a massive Japanese company, and yeah we hang out every weekend without fail but he works during the week 9 to 5. I got a couple other friends  and stuff but I'm kinda lonely especially compared to the hostel lifestyle where I was with people constantly,and even compared to before new years when I was going to the Japanese school and so had some seriously cool people to hangout with. Also spent a lot of time with possibly the hottest girl I have ever met, but we didn't do anything because of... Next paragraph. (ok there may have been some things but whatever we were super drunk)

A big development in my life is that I've got a girlfriend. A big problem is that she lives in London. We met in Estonia, and she's like.. Way out of my league, (hot redhead gamer chick with ridiculous body and I swear she's real guys) but yeah she lives in the other side of the planet. She came over for Christmas and new years and my birthday and stuff and it was... Probably the best month of my life. I have no idea why she likes me especially since I treated her like shit back in Estonia. But yeah we're in love and it sucks so much ass. She's the reason I got 2 jobs, it's so I can get some dough and head over there and have more cuddles and stuff, which my life is severely lacking. BTW you know how I'm shit at keeping in touch? Yeah long distance is the bomb (but to be honest I'm much better at it with eliis I message her every day and we Skype like 3 times a week). So yeah single muming this shit but it'll be worth it, because she's worth it (you guys would really like her, she's not quite nerdy but she's really into like comic books and fucking Disney and getting inappropriately drunk then naked and I'm in love with her so I just assume y'all would like her as well). Of course I'm doing all this and saying all this but I'm still the fucking worst, I done cheated, and for the worst girls too, but I'm doing better now. I'm more sure now.




I'm sorry I'm such a shit friend to you guys. I'm so sorry. I love you guys so deeply but I'm still such a shit cunt. I don't know why. I just can't come back, I feel like if I do I'll never be able to leave again, or like as if my life isn't in Australia any more. I know I'm come g back eventually, I just don't know when. Honestly it could be in 2 months despite everything I just said. I'm so fucking disorganised and lost and just apathetic about everything, my whole fucking life but whatever, I got a short term goal of get to London that's what I'm going for. My fingers are hating me just wrote this on my phone so I'm going to stop now but yeah.  Miss you

omg

Eating

I haven't made a post here for literally centuries so I figured its about time I gave this place some activity of my own.

Basically while I love food and stuff, the prospect of having to prepare it every single day for the rest of my life whilst also ensuring the food I eat isn't slowly killing me just sounds exhausting. Like, if I had the option to be able to survive without food but having to give up being able to eat at all in the process, I'd jump on that opportunity straight away. Sure eating food is nice and fulfilling and all, but it's also such a hassle.

So anyway, there's this new product called Soylent, which is basically just a sludge that's supposed to have all of your nutritional requirements sorted out for you. I'm seriously tempted to try it, even if only for a week or something, and see what living life off of just a basic "human fuel" is like. Who knows, if I end up liking it, when I get a stable income I might just become a member and live off that.

the only physical object that connects me with someone who's passed is this piece of paper

before it was ripped, it said "NO TAKE BACKS" and "NO BACK DOORS"

i was such a terribly weird child.

Is it just me

or is looking through linkedin profile pictures like the funniest thing. But not like the funniest. Like a bit funny. A little bit. I get a kick out of it.

I'm obsessed with this band

Listen to it, and now imagine your roommate and her boyfriend are having an intense screaming fight and even though their confined to a different room you can still hear "YOU STUPID BITCH" from the closed doors of your room.

Now imagine that once the song plays through the chorus a few times, the couple decides to migrate to right outside your room so you can hear every excruciating detail of sobbing and screaming even over the highest volume of the music.

And now imagine that when the music ends, you hear the front door slam and intense gross sobbing.

Usually it's pretty entertaining but like, it's actually really freaking horrifying and i genuinely  hope they'll be ok.

Desiderata (a poem which i think suits most better than any religion out there)

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be critical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.

I started doing the thing where you dont wash your hair with shampoo (so i only use water and brush it alot) for like 3 weeks and your hair is supposed to be real nice after that

so far, its just a little greasy but so so so itchy.
will see how long i can continue this

the end.

i laughed so hard

Are YOU the next AVATAR? Bend the 4 elements

2014 summary

This year was a rollercoaster.

Finished my second year of uni, recovered from shoulder surgery, saved up and went to Canadia, and to top it off got my motorbike L's. That ain't all though... I saw $1200 go down the drain due to various fines, and didn't do one exercise activity (except a few runs here and there) and became a vessel for hundreds (?) of lil' parasites.
I turned 21, went to two engagements of close family, lost no family/ everyone is still healthy.

I'm still not president of Earth so i'm kinda sad. But i have sick friends and famiry so nothings stopping me yet

2014 lettuce wrap

Hey y'all! Happy fucking January 2015 to all my favourite humans!
First I would like to thank Smaz for spawning this web space! Always in my heart

And next, if it's ok, would you guys like just posting a summary of your 2014? How did those 365 days go? So, here's mine:

2014 was so much soul searching for me. I kind of made it my selfish year which was hella awesome. I gained so much confidence in myself this year and learnt not to care about lots of stuff.
I got super loose this year, was a little reckless, made and spent lots of money and had a shit ton of fun while  kinda neglecting my studies.
It was also an extremely gay year for me, I experienced all the homo.
I had an amazing year with crazy ups and downs and loved all of it. Also I have the greatest homies in the world.  Cheers cunts!

Also did anyone make New Years resolutions?

I'm so fucking itchy. Everywhere. I put dermo creme on but it seems to irritate some areas more- and now i've gotten to the point where it aint satisfying until blood comes out.
This is hell
I can't sleep

Man family is annoying.

Family is annoying as shit.

Like okay I'm gonna rant a bit here, so Dad and Anshoo are here now, and like everything has to be my Dad's way, like just no matter what, what he says goes. I don't agree with him a lot, because at this point in time, I am no longer a child and being forced along with everything he does as an adult, being treated like a child is hugely irritating. 

Like today, I was clearing up the inside table and he was like, I want to sit outside, and that had to be the thing, and like it'd be fine if that was it but they made me stop clearing up the inside table, because that was unnecessary. Like my actions were not a terrible thing, if it rains, we're gonna need the inside table, if it's cold, we're gonna need the inside table, but no apparently, I did the wrong thing and I was sent off like a naughty child. They're also super set on family meals which like would be fine except like every meal is a family thing, even takeaway, like nothing can be a quiet affair, the table always has to be set and everyone has to come and sit down and eat together. I mean it's probably just in such a contrast to my daily life, cause family meals aren't a thing for me, at least not on a regular basis, other than special occasions cause it's really not thing when we'd all rather be doing other things or actually do have other things to do, and they were shocked at this and then realised my age, something they admit they forget.

Dad also has this tension around him, every single time he's ever dealing with anything it's stressful, and I just hate dealing with it, it's always work or family or something that he's stressing about and it's wound around him and everyone around him like spiderweb. It's really toxic to be around. 

Just generally it's a really awful uncomfortable atmosphere, and sometimes it's just not that fun. 

At least Sophie is suffering with me, and I still have to get through the big Family Christmas Eve and Day Celebration. Yay!