I'm so fucking itchy. Everywhere. I put dermo creme on but it seems to irritate some areas more- and now i've gotten to the point where it aint satisfying until blood comes out.
This is hell
I can't sleep

Man family is annoying.

Family is annoying as shit.

Like okay I'm gonna rant a bit here, so Dad and Anshoo are here now, and like everything has to be my Dad's way, like just no matter what, what he says goes. I don't agree with him a lot, because at this point in time, I am no longer a child and being forced along with everything he does as an adult, being treated like a child is hugely irritating. 

Like today, I was clearing up the inside table and he was like, I want to sit outside, and that had to be the thing, and like it'd be fine if that was it but they made me stop clearing up the inside table, because that was unnecessary. Like my actions were not a terrible thing, if it rains, we're gonna need the inside table, if it's cold, we're gonna need the inside table, but no apparently, I did the wrong thing and I was sent off like a naughty child. They're also super set on family meals which like would be fine except like every meal is a family thing, even takeaway, like nothing can be a quiet affair, the table always has to be set and everyone has to come and sit down and eat together. I mean it's probably just in such a contrast to my daily life, cause family meals aren't a thing for me, at least not on a regular basis, other than special occasions cause it's really not thing when we'd all rather be doing other things or actually do have other things to do, and they were shocked at this and then realised my age, something they admit they forget.

Dad also has this tension around him, every single time he's ever dealing with anything it's stressful, and I just hate dealing with it, it's always work or family or something that he's stressing about and it's wound around him and everyone around him like spiderweb. It's really toxic to be around. 

Just generally it's a really awful uncomfortable atmosphere, and sometimes it's just not that fun. 

At least Sophie is suffering with me, and I still have to get through the big Family Christmas Eve and Day Celebration. Yay!

(⊙︿⊙ )

This tv show explains so much about me