Today, I was sitting at my desk and everything was chill, doing my uni work, relaxing. Anyway, I got up to say hi to mum who had just walked in the door and my brain had like an attack as I stood up, possibly caused by standing up I don't really know and basically I collapsed in my own doorway and I couldn't get up because of severe vertigo. It wasn't even the world was spinning, it was just like the video game control angles were all wrong like before, I couldn't walk without holding onto something for like 15 minutes, and even sitting down I almost fell off the chair a few times, because I was leaning over without realising it. I think it must have been some sort of weird migraine cause then I got a splitting headache for about an hour after. Usually I'd get visual auras before a migraine but my medication suppresses those sorts of things.
Anyway, I really hope that doesn't happen again, I mean this is the reason I chose open University and the thing that led to me being house bound for those 3 months last year, where the vertigo was that first symptom to appear. The inevitable question that comes to mind is whether this is another flare up of the same thing? Is it another stage of the same thing? Or is it just an extra thing to add to the list? I don't know.
I find myself at a bit of a loss as the months pass and I am still not symptom free, I do try and remain positive, but with literally seeing your symptoms that can be difficult. I don't really know what to say when people say, it could be going away and the trend for me at least, if I am 100% honest with you, is increasing symptoms as time goes on, not decreasing, that is a difficult assumption to stay positive to. I can't really say what the medication has an effect on, although I can say, the tracking, while still around when on my medication is remarkably improved by it.
The tracking by the way is best described by this photo,
the glowsticks in the photo basically have a trail, you can see that trail with the aid of the camera, I can see trails like that after pretty much everything, when I am not on medication. It happens because something in my brain is being a little bit overactive, that's the theory anyway, and would explain why it's worse when I am really anxious, the tracking is usually only if I move past something or if I move something quickly in front of my face but in bad cases, can even extend to when I move my eyes, so there will be trails like that.
Sounds cool. Really isn't.
Put it this way, it's ok most of the time, but you see how in that image, it's also like there are a few copies in some places, same thing in my vision, when you wake up in the morning and everything has a trail, the fridge, the bed, the cupboard, the curtains, the doorframe, the floorboards, it's like the worlds is fucking with you. All you want is for it all to just piss off back down to one edge.
Anyway, I've ranted enough, look at this awesome photo I took ages ago but edited today I was super proud of it.
Also uni is going super well, and that's awesome and I'm really glad I have you guys
Anyway, I really hope that doesn't happen again, I mean this is the reason I chose open University and the thing that led to me being house bound for those 3 months last year, where the vertigo was that first symptom to appear. The inevitable question that comes to mind is whether this is another flare up of the same thing? Is it another stage of the same thing? Or is it just an extra thing to add to the list? I don't know.
I find myself at a bit of a loss as the months pass and I am still not symptom free, I do try and remain positive, but with literally seeing your symptoms that can be difficult. I don't really know what to say when people say, it could be going away and the trend for me at least, if I am 100% honest with you, is increasing symptoms as time goes on, not decreasing, that is a difficult assumption to stay positive to. I can't really say what the medication has an effect on, although I can say, the tracking, while still around when on my medication is remarkably improved by it.
The tracking by the way is best described by this photo,
the glowsticks in the photo basically have a trail, you can see that trail with the aid of the camera, I can see trails like that after pretty much everything, when I am not on medication. It happens because something in my brain is being a little bit overactive, that's the theory anyway, and would explain why it's worse when I am really anxious, the tracking is usually only if I move past something or if I move something quickly in front of my face but in bad cases, can even extend to when I move my eyes, so there will be trails like that.
Sounds cool. Really isn't.
Put it this way, it's ok most of the time, but you see how in that image, it's also like there are a few copies in some places, same thing in my vision, when you wake up in the morning and everything has a trail, the fridge, the bed, the cupboard, the curtains, the doorframe, the floorboards, it's like the worlds is fucking with you. All you want is for it all to just piss off back down to one edge.
Anyway, I've ranted enough, look at this awesome photo I took ages ago but edited today I was super proud of it.
Also uni is going super well, and that's awesome and I'm really glad I have you guys
2 comments:
wooo I'm glad uni is going well!
Hope you are coping with this crap... Does it ever get better?
Most of the time I zone it out, but sometimes it's just excessively noticeable. In highly contrased situations, it's worse, or when objects are moving fast. I mean most of the time I don't see it or life would be unbearable, and sometimes I wake up in the morning with it and sometimes I don't. It's just a matter of the day. Really depends.
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