This is actually really getting on my nerves, so I am making a post.
(Lambert, you might not want to read the next bit for the amount of swear words it contains & I am sorry for that.)
I know you guys think it is the funniest thing when you say something as a Troll and I don't get it.
Kinda like in physics, where you would say something stupid and I would get pissed off and you would all laugh at my stupidity for pointing it out because you were obviously joking
Well you know what? I am fucking sick of that shit.
Yeh I don't fucking get it, I don't understand why you say that shit but to make fun of me is actually really hurtful and horrible and I have fucking dealt with that pile of shit for 2 years, no fucking more.
You want too know why I correct you?
It's because I care, on the chance you might have it wrong and believe what you are saying, be it in any subject. I don't want you to have it wrong. I want you to have it right, so when you go oh Hogg, you don't get it HAHAHA. You make me feel like a retard for caring. And you know what? I am sick of it.
Fuck you for this shit, you have put me through. I am sorry that I got it wrong all the times you made a joke. I am so fucking sorry for caring about you.
So you know what? I give up. I fucking gave up and made this post so you might for once in your god damn lives take me seriously. It's not funny any more. It's just mean and unnecessary. And it makes me feel bad for caring. oh and just a hint, you made me cry more than once for this, but you didn't notice, cause I took it all and never said a word. But I don't have to deal with this any more, school is over and there are no more times, I actually have to sit in class and listen to it.
Think about it.
I have ranted enough now. Good Night.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
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15 comments:
I know very well that this post is directly at large against my comment. Not my comment alone Emily but my comment was definitely the tipping point.
Instead of trying to defend my actions, instead I will tell you why I do it.
Even if I do constantly troll and call you out on things Hogg, I do respect you. More than you understand. You're incredibly down-to-earth and rational-thinking, and we need people like you on earth for society to function.
However, you do have only one outlook on life, and it is a very strict and logic-based one at that. You know how to have fun and can laugh a lot, but you are missing some sort of "human" element. I live by the philosophy that conflict - as much as it agitates you at the time - in the long run opens up your eyes to other perspectives, and makes you re-evaluate your own. If re-evulating only reinforces them, so be it. But it'll make you think about what you believe.
So by calling you Hogg and trolling you, while it may be irritating and slightly annoying at the time, shows you that there is more to life than just laughing at corny science documentary jokes and ignoring sexual innuendos when they're obviously there. It's to show that life with no-one but Emilys would be very stale - very organised and respectful, but stale.
I do know I take it too far though sometimes. A few months ago I actually tried to stop it all entirely. But then when I saw that you were the same old Emily, I picked it up again. And yes, I've taken it too far, and I'll cut it down since it makes you feel bad. But know that as much as I show you there is more to life than Subway cookies and hating child pagents, you show me life also needs people to make the corny science jokes and run our aeronautical companies so we can actually fly the world.
hmmm. Okay these are just opinions. Remember, opinions can be wrong.And since I have limited vocabulary and articulation, I just have to type what I think.
I feel that eventhough you are trying to be caring, you are not understanding the situation. You can't see the fact that your friends are just joking and i feel like the point is that they are not out to get you or make fun of you but they feel that you as a friend will understand that they know what is right and they know what to do.
It is like, beaquase i understand smaz, i know that he knows what he is doing in english and that is how i know he is making a joke.
Ahhh but really, the true reason for it is because we are all so different so we cannot help but look at things differently. Like if we did the same thing to someone else, they will react in a different way so we respond to that reaction differently.
But I also feel that there is a misunderstanding because it is true that these people never meant to hurt you and we all think that ALL (including you) of us are just having fun.
idunno, its hard.¯\_(ツ)_/¯
But I feel that it is nicer if everything is not taken so seriously.
um, last point. I agree with Maxim too. And I try my best to not be so offending to you also.
Hey Hogg don't forget a joke is a joke. Some people like to joke more offensively than others, and as a sensitive person it can be very heartbreaking, i know. But seriously just laugh it off cause they don't mean it/wont really ever remember it.
Dont get offended by these people, and dont feel victimised- they do it to others aswell just watch how other people react to the same insults. Believe it or not, but by ignoring and/or going along with those jokes actually strengthens the bond sometimes, and they will probably eventually stop doing it.
Like when you tell me to shutup, im not actually gonna shutup, im gonna laugh and keep talking yeah? Or probably also tell you to shutup, haha i dunno its all in the moment.
Remember not everyones the same...and i think that probably its kind of a sign of affection or close-relationship-recognition to be able to offend your friend and get away with it.
It's not so much the jokes themselves sometimes they are funny and I don't want to fully reject them but sometimes the frequency is kinda a little enough already. If I am hundred percent honest I don't want you to stop making the jokes I'd just prefer it if it wasn't every single time I don't get something because it is then that I get a little upset and feel like a retard. I am sorry to have caused a fuss. Also subway cookies? I never say anything about subway cookies.
hey emily, i totally understand why you might feel hurt when people say things like this
but what i cant understand is how you dont see most of it as a joke, im not saying its because you're silly or not smart enough etc
but it just shows how little you really know your friends and how you dont really understand them.
maybe im just not so happy that you told all of us to fuck ourselves but like, its not all us all the time. I can see that lots of times we go too far and are completely inconsiderate but lots of times it baffles me when we can all get the joke instantly and you react completely differently to it. this is also because i dont understand alot of you, which is fine because we are all different people.
anyway, this is just what i think.
I'm sorry Hui, like I said, I got a little heated. I just don't get the jokes. I know you guys find them hilarious but you know I tried to explain this to Lambert. I know you know you are saying something funny supposedly and the stuff is generally incredibly stupid and derpy and it's meant to be that wai and I tried to explain it, basically I don't get why it is so funny because I don't know why you would vaguely align yourself with that stupidity.
Also, Hui, this was not directed at people that don't make the jokes.
of course its not but thats just my point of view.
here i go.
that word 'stupidity' that you use kinda reflects a certain ignorance that you have to some pop culture or internet culture, like sure lots of the jokes are like trolololo derp but its still fun, for me at least. i dont find it stupid. and i know that im not stupid. im not aligning my self with stupidity but im just having fun by making references that dont involve maths and physics or 'not stupid things' (subway cookies..?)
also, i find that alot of the hurt you experience is brought on by yourself.
NO ONE MEANS IT. NO ONE WANTS YOU TO FEEL THIS WAY. and in my opinion, other people who are non-members of this blog have contributed alot to this.
remember this is a blog, a public one, so when you do not specify your audience im gonna read it as
' damn... emily just told me to fuck myself'
or
'damn... she told my friends to fuck themselves'
ayyyy thats not cool.
i cant understand (THIS IS JUST ME, NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU AGAIN) how you can, like you said deal with this for 2 years, but like, thats a long ass time to spend with a group of people. and for me, i learn and grow from the people around, like i learn not to be so serious, have more fun etc etc, i wasnt always like this, so i am completely baffled by the way you cant accept us.
and like insisting that you do this out of care is nice and all but it shows me that you just dont get alot of stuff, like you dont even know us, and if you cared about us that much, i would think that you would understand us and accept us better instead of focussing on your perspective. i think alot of the time you are not able to see how we see
also, in regards to smaz's post, like if you knew smaz well enough, you would know that he was being sarcastic and obviously was not wandering through the HSC not knowing such basic guidelines cos hes a smart and aware kid.
THIS IS WHAT I THINK. AS AN OPINION. AINT TRYIN TO STIR NOTHIN HERE.
like i get that you angry and emotional but i just dont think its fair for you to say such things aiighht.
we love you. we would never hurt you like this. no one would want to make you cry and it kind of kills me when you cant understand this.
thats it.
"basically I don't get why it is so funny because I don't know why you would vaguely align yourself with that stupidity."
Because looking at everything in a completely rational way 100% of the time is boring.
if you look at it from a different perspective, the troll physics that people like maxim and sam come up with is actually quite smart. i mean, they take something (and they do it all the time, not just the one off, which i think is cool) and take a 'seemingly' rational idea (and i know it wouldn't really work, but you can see how it should) and make it work i.e. getting strong enough to lift yourself, then lifting yourself in a chair and flying. do you catch my drift how in a way, they're doing exactly what physics is trying to get us to do, which is think outside the box.
If it's something that we are legit having trouble with, then it's all cool to help (and maybe that's our fault to a degree to, cause i know i sometimes will accidentally do troll physics or whatever because i just don't understand) and maybe we could chuck a code word in so not only no-one gets embarrassed, but we also become tighter and giving each other knowing nods and stuff because we're all on the same page (if that made sense).
Also, now this kinda relates to you getting annoyed at us cause you're always saying how you're happy that you became our friends because we taught you how to handle a different kind of joke, but it seems not. And this confuses me, because you say that you understand and are happy with the way we act and stuff, but then you get upset when we do it. so yeah, i mean i don't want to offend you or anything, but i think that you just need to look at the big picture. they're just jokes and there's much bigger, more important stuff to be annoyed with or whatever.
So yeah, just be cool, keep it real, but be open to irrational ideas. because how are you gonna risk it to get the biscuit, if you're still looking at the subway cookie?
You are right Hui. I don't get a lot of the things you say and I don't get people generally. I do really admire you for being able to get people, but I just don't. I'm not going to do a psychological evaluation on myself, but it probably comes down to a lack of self-esteem. And maybe it's just the way I react to things, but sometimes I do feel it is a personal attack, when everyone else doesn't seem to get paid out. I dunno maybe I'm just oblivious and naive; which is highly likely, I don't have much life experience. Maybe everyone else just takes it better than I do, maybe that's the way it is. But I dunno, when I hang out with other people, it's not boring, and I don't get paid out, so maybe you understand where I am confused.
On the trolling, I don't get it either, maybe that's the biggest problem. I just don't understand it. But that is my own problem, and I will try and deal with it.
I should say sorry for swearing, maybe it's just the atmosphere and such at the moment with the HSC. I dunno. I shouldn't have sworn, but sometimes, this is my way of telling you something is not ok. I dunno, I guess it comes from my family, at home, when i blow up, there is an argument and the air is cleared. I know it's not meant to happen, but it does. So that is how I react. I should probably think more about it.
So yet again, I am sorry and I didn't wish to offend you Hui, or anyone else, just sometimes I get a little sick of things. Yes, my own insecurities and so on. So, yeh, sorry.
I didn't get to read Lambert's post.
So here is my reply to that.
Firstly, code word, haha.
Secondly, look I am actually thankful that you make jokes. But not all the time, sometimes I am trying to help and I get paid out and I feel like I shouldnt have bothered. That is mostly, what set this off. I guess just like I said, the pay outs get a little, enough already. I get it. And sometimes I am not in the right mood.
I dunno, I don't get people, most people do, but I don't. I don't get half the jokes you say, comments you say. etc. and you know that makes me feel a bit derp I dunno.
Just something I thought of then, it isn't so much the actual jokes, but the pay-outs that come when I don't get them. I dunno, I just don't and then to pay me out is hurtful.
this might just be me remembering one time, but from what i recall (especially from physics class, troll physics), you not understanding goes something like this:
Maxim or Sam pass troll physics paper that one of them just made to the other. Emily sees and is like "I don't get it" maybe with that this where you confusedly move your arms too.
Maxim: "hogg, hogg, hogg, hogg, hogg"
Sam: "oh hogg"
Maxim: "silly hogg"
and then that seems to be the end of it. maybe that's just how i remember it, but there isn't anything offensive there (unless you find your last name offensive, in which case i should be constantly offended around you all). so yeah.
and the code word could come at the end of a post just saying "hdwiat", which means "hogg don't worry, it's a troll." if that helps.
I give up and apologise for my actions.
don't worry, it'll all get sorted out next time we all see each other and i've got a feeling that everything will work out just fine :D
Are you giving up on yourself or your friends?
That's one of my least favourite phrases in the whole world, so tell me what are you giving up on. If you have something else to say then say it, because giving up means your just hiding something else and give up expressing it.
Or are you giving up talking to us?
Don't feel one against a hundred Hogg, we're all trying to help and roll with this to make you feel better on the other side.
and the phrase, "i give up," doesn't assure me.
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