Hey friends,
Today. I just came back from one of the most socially awkward experience since my time in Canada. It wasn't like those awkward times when I said something stupid or did something dumb and it made it weird for a split second to like 10 minutes (I mean sure at that time it felt like an eternity) but this one was made of messy feelings that a prepubescent teen would experience changing schools half way through semester of grade 9.You know the kind that makes you awkwardly get your provided lunch and make your way to the seat next to your only friend only to see a group of cooler people surround him and all the other seats look taken so you decide the best decision to do is to spend your 15 minute break time walking around the building and eating by yourself.
yea that sort of thing.
So turns out I'm really involved in this organization and I went to this two day conference for the weekend. The details of it are like, it's a conference for everyone in the national team to attend (basically everyone else was a veteran of the organization) so I only knew one person who was from Toronto and the other 3 from Toronto, well I only know of them. Anyway at this conference all these 4th and 5th year college students come together to talk about stuff and I don't get most of it so I can't even make conversation and I was just a mess.
Infact the social anxiety affected me so much that I became so dam awkward that the awkward experiences that grew from it is still bothering me to the point where I have to tell everyone about it to get it off my chest. The only other person in a similar position to me was this guy who had the same role as me cause our role isn't really important, we're more like foot soldiers.
Anyway, this is my uni life now. It's kinda boring. Maybe I'll switch back to partying next year. I don't mind it though.
This experience pretty much made me feel like the beginning of highschool all over again (such dark times).
peace
Monday, January 6, 2014
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1 comment:
oh man those awkward feels! bro idk what advice to give but i can say sometimes when you think people see you in a certain way, you might actually be wrong and over thinking!
But idk i wasnt there, but to me it sounds like...maybe you were trying to impress somebody (even yourself [?]) at this event. If it meant so much to you, and you felt like a failure... then maybe you're being too hard on yourself, and need to ask that person (even yourself) how you really performed.
Asking goes a long way
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