don't read

i really just need to speak about this its been on my mind for a while.
Why do we need to live. Really. Why.
Isn't it a bit ignorant just to reply with, "even though we are all going to die in the end, it's how you live your life that counts, have fun and yada yada yada"
What is it that makes us all want to have be in a relationship and have kids; it's purely instinctual and bestial in a sense "we MUST keep the human race alive and produce more!" but why?
So i decided if i ever get a job, i won't be pursuing a career that lives off other jobs (i.e accounting or management) or that is in hospitality. No way. I have decided that two things only make my life worth living really, it just makes sense.
I want to do something for this world, change 'something' or discover 'something'...help us advance as a race and give my life and this weird human race a purpose.
And by means of deduction really the only two fields that fit this description are
a) enter a scientific field
b) become a teacher (by doing this i can at least have relief of persuading the next generation to do the same)

It's just so stupid. I saw an old man walking down the street, he had mid length gray hair, used a walking stick with his hunched posture and wore a grey suit, that looked like a naval-generals outfit, and the appropriate badges to suit the profession dangling above his left pocket on his chest. But above most, his face... it looked helpless. Turn back the time machine 40 odd years and we might be looking at a good-looking, successful, fearless; motivated.
He probably has a life in which involve things i'd never even heard of, been to a certain country and met a few certain people and did a few certain activities that would make my eyebrows raise with awe.

But right now...as i think. Doesn't everyone have one of these lives? Was that their goal in life? Do we even need goals?

I walked into the supermarket and saw the array of vegetables and fruits that confront the eye, begging to be bought by any entering customer. But this time, i don't know why, i just thought... how fucking easy is this life. The fruits, imported from all over, the vegetables too. I don't have to search for calories to make it to the next day, rather i have to avoid calories so that i don't put on weight.
How embarrassing.

Above all things in searching for a job, we are told to enjoy it. But i have this scarred rule in my head, saying that i need to earn as much money as i can. With such a low esteem for job hunting, let alone a goal that is so high on the pedistool i can't even reach the legs of...