I can't get it off my mind. Is everything we see, all the things that we use in our everyday lives... Are they there because someone invented it for convenience of themselves and other people, or because if they didn't make these things then their world would be ended. The water filter i use, my headphones, the mirror on the wall; why is it they exist exactly. How much of this world is materially existent and how much is necessary.
I wish I was normal to the point that i had a partner, posted and liked things on facebook for them and recieve the same on my daily updates; that i work a 9-5 job happily to come home and talk about nothing and maybe save up for a house or a holiday somewhere; that problems outside of my own little world existed in a corner of my mind i openly choose not to understand and further expand. That is, i wish i knew no other way i spose.
There's just so much happening, everywhere. Why the hell do i keep taking on the burden of it all, and see all that i'm doing right now as utterly useless. I don't really believe in money even, sure as a means of trade of services it's a highly appropriate system; but since when did it dictate how i should slave my life away to it, forever bound to debts that will become motivation for sentiment of family or relationships.
I'm such a fucking uni student right now. Activism, 'out of the box' thinking, world views and such.
It's just so stupid, everything. So many problems are so logically easy to solve, but illogically occur day to day. Talk of regulation, and belief in its perfection; but admittance of small illegalities that benefit our greedy nature.
Wtf even is this world man. No, that is wrong, the world is fine; wtf even is humanity. It seems the larger we get, the more douchebags become created and lead the people into falsifiable outcomes.
I don't want to sleep, rest or stop thinking about it. But i know i have to. If i don't, who knows what'll happen to me. Will i leave home and start living a 'criminal' life because my beliefs are different and start stealing from people and taking away to survive. Alone i can't do anything, and organising a massive group in the first place is near impossible. As long as I had the right team i'm sure i'd be able to conquer these thoughts.. but fuck how far would it really get us? We'd have to play the game of law, which we know is impossible to win because it's a monopoly game with the other player owning the bank, rule sheet, and every property on the board. Can players break the rules legally?
I'm kinda over life's game. I don't want to live in this way of thinking. I'll say it again, i really don't want to live like this anymore. I'm not suicidal, just sick of life, nothingness is ok right?
I don't even know what to think anymore. Maybe i should stop thinking like the rest
Thursday, October 8, 2015
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4 comments:
dude i read a super short article about how 2 somali women on nauru island were raped and now pregnant and BEGGING australia to give them abortions.
at one point one of the women was HIDING IN A CAVE from her rapists while she was on the phone to the fucking australian police
and the hours later, the government gave out a statement that they have not released a comment on that situation. or something like that
But like actually what the fuck. like actually. no amount of anger i feel or expression i make can change that we live in a world of fucked up idiots who cant even show the most minimal compassion for each other or the planet. or anything apart from themselves eventhough its so obvious what the right thing is to do. i cant even comprehend. we are completely powerless to it.
in the end people keep saying 'the world is fucked' 'thats life' 'that happens everywhere' but what the fuck. so much stuff is preventable. in the end we just focus on other things and numb ourselves to the unimaginable suffering of others.
so i get it dude. and i think about it all the time. and i cant just accept it
fucken hell, that's seriously... How much would it take to send out help to these poor women man!? Argh.
But the thing is, who is to blame for creating the minds of those fucken rapists... Is it lack of education or lack of any good emotion in a human soul. That shit's just not on
Hey man, you're confused right now, I get it. You know what that means? That you have a conscience, and that all in all you'll live a decent life. I get that everything seems like so much right now and there's so many thoughts bouncing around in your head, but trust me when I say that it's okay to let them go and that answers to them will come in time. Think of it as like trying to find your way around a room in the dark - at first it can seem overwhelming, but the more you bump into things, the more you experience life and know your limitations, the more comfortable that room will become, and soon enough you'll feel right at home in your own head.
So what I'm trying to say is dude, it's OK to have all these millions of weird and confusing thoughts whirling around in your head. It won't last forever, and there'll come a time when you'll look back at this and think "I know so much more than I did back then." So take it easy, feel confused if you have, and feel secure knowing that the shit you're dealing with know will make you a more open and generous person in the future.
That's so true man... It's just rather than being in a dark room alone, i see other people in a more blinding position and i see people around me seeing the same thing, but doing nothing. arghaghrghagrhaghifhgsauhgoiugh humans
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