Ok guys I'm having a pretty rough time here right now, I'm trying my hardest and I really fucking thought I was ok, like that I had changed, I was talking as much as I could, never refusing any offer, doing as much shit as I could here but it's not enough and my family here thinks I'm not doing anything and that I'm wasting my time here!
¿Me ayudad? Gracias chicos...
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
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3 comments:
Ok man, what you need is a reality check
You have built up all these mental walls inside you and you feel like your situation is getting more and more hopeless by the day
I know what it's like, when you're trapped in a place for so long and there seems to be no redeeming features of you being there, it's easy to think that everything is too much and that you just want to get the fuck away
But listen to me man
It's not that bad
You're stressed out because you don't know what to do and you feel like there's all this pressure on you
I can totally empathise, and to be honest I would feel exactly the same if I was in your situation
But trust me when I say that 95% of your problems are in your head
Being in a rut, being in the same house day after day and not knowing what to do has gotten to you
That's why your trip to that island was so good, it was a massive breath of fresh air and showed you that the world is still out there
When you come back to Sydney you'll look back on now and see - from an outsider's perspective - how not bad things really were. As for the whole "I thought I've changed part," let me tell you that you've changed a fuckton. You don't realise it now, but when you return to your family and shit you see just how much being away from them has made you grow. The shit you're doing now? Being half-way round the world and living in an entirely different cutlure? This is going to be incredible for your strength of character.
As for what you are should do now, I cant tell you exactly since I don't know the details, but I can tell you one thing
Break. The. Rut.
When your boredom becomes routine yet you continue to allow yourself to do it day after day, it's all to easy to become stuck and "comfortable" just doing nothing. Even going out to the shops becomes a huge chore. Trust me, I'm going through it right now.
The best thing to do is just to do ANYTHING. Maybe go shopping. Maybe see a movie or even a play just for the heck of it. Go to the beach, no matter how far away it may be. Suggest to your host sister that you could host a party (although that would probably be too much awkward to handle, hah.) Go for a bike ride. Go for a walk. Anything to get out of what you're in now, no matter how small.
And don't put too much pressure on yourself. Don't get mad if you don't go out and party 8 days a week at awesome non-existant Sardinian nightclubs. Take it one step at a time. Remember how bad shit seemed to be not even a few months ago? Yeah, it's way better than those shitty days.
Take it easy. Talk it through. Do something every day or so. Talk to cool people. And above all else,
Chill.
What maxim said. Honestly man, find a project, anything. I get bored easily, like I'm not doing much even on my holidays, that's why I took up photography. If you want to do it, it's always a good way to pass the time, you don't even need some fancy camera. With it, you can plan things, plan trips of things to photograph and in the evening you can come back and show what you did. The best thing is to find something to do, something you want to do.
It may not be photography but even wondering about the town and looking in the shops can be cool. Paint a picture of the landscape, offer to clean the house, honestly anything that at the end of the day you can look back on and go cool. Organise a dinner, or a picnic or a day at the beach or host a BBQ. Again whatever you do, take some photos to show what you've done and talk about it with your family.
It's easy to feel down particularly away from friend contact and such. which reminds me, skype us your new mail address. You know, in 6 months you will look at this like an experience, Im not saying it will be completely positive but there will always be stuff that was good. You can always learn stuff. Even if you just spend some time looking up stuff you will learn next yr at uni and such, it's productive, adults tend to like the preparing for your future thing.
Hope it gets better man, we miss you and we'll see you soon
*hugs*
Hey man. I guess i can say that i know the best exactly what you mean.
To be honest i had a mad breakdown yesterday, and i just gave up on anything and i started to doubt everything im doing, and everything i am within really. I started to think "who am i and what is my every characteristic that defines me?" , i felt completely lost and started to cry in the train station on the way home...It was really the first time ive touched my darkness since ive been in Japan. Bro, dont let that darkness overcome you and make you think otherwise.
You are an awesome friend, and you know that. Who cares if people say that they dont really know what your personality is, those people arent looking hard enough is what i think. Fact is, when someone has a conversation with you, and alls you say is yes, no or i agree, they believe that they have gotten to know you on a deeper level even though they did all the talking. At times like that, i feel like if i say something that they dont want to hear it; i lose confidence in my own opinion and sound silent and conceited. But i got that confidence back, and you have it too right? Say what you wanna say, be the geekiest geek or the douchebaggiest douche bag if thats your opinion, because you can work off that spark and build even more things to say just from one little thing that you have said.
But also, make sure you are doing something yeah? Just then, my host mother said that she was going shopping, and i was about to use the computer but then i thought...no fuck that, "Hey going alone is boring right? Ill go too" . And then from there we saw common interests (aight so we both searched for one piece manga-im in japan so cant be helped that even my host mum likes one pice {NOTE i introducecd it to her})
But yeah, instead of me brainlessly procrastinating, i just spent a little time with someone and spent my time well.
So dont be afraid to speak up man, and just get involved or else youll become a robot nun, and i dont want you shooting your holy laser beams of brainwashing hymns to attack my japanese mind man can take dat sheiiiiiiiiiit. CHIEW.
Aight im off. Bro. Lets get stronger together, we got this
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