weird sappy sentimental post about my gay (as in flowery) feelings

Yesterday I was lieing on my bed reading the hunger games book and listening to my ipod at the same time. I don't know why i always like to listen to music when im reading because it distracts me but i do it anyway. Then Calvin Harris' Bounce comes on and i stop reading because all the memories of schoolies come flooding back. every bit of it and i remember the smell, the feeling, the sand that we ran on, the tar under our shoes and the carpet in the hotel room.

I remember sitting on those recyliners watching tv, walking to the beach, roaming up and down surfer's paradise in the afternoon to go to the arcade or to go to the shops, and at night when we wanted to wat something. The dinner by the pool, going out and staying up as long as we wanted. At that time i felt like our youth was forever and we were just using up every bit of it. Chillin out, going to the sauna, talking about nothing, getting locked out of hotel rooms and running around to find the keys. I think I almost cried. I miss that so much. Schoolies was freakin amazing. And thinking about all we did and the people we met and remembering the views of surfer's paradise beach at day and night. It was so dam beautiful. And part of me wants to go back and relive that.

And now im just writing this post because i feel sentimental or someshit like, I got my old i pod out because I wanted to start putting all my old music into my new ipod, and as i navigated through it, I had this ridiculous sentimental moment of how it felt to use that ipod for the first time and when i first got it. It was like 4 years ago and my first christmas in Australia which was spent in the beach town of gerringong with Adrienne's family and i remember that the first music i ever put in my ipod was adrienne's music and as i move around on this music playing device, memories of running around the caravan park, going to the beach, playing soccer with johnathan, being followed by those random boys from the playground, all these memories came back and shit, its been a long time.

Yea time is like the ocean cause you can only hold so little in your hand. But when i look back at all of this, everything ive done, im happy with how i spent that time, of all the happy times i have gotten out of it. and maybe its because im leaving and whenever i see anything it triggers a whole bunch of memories out of nowhere but now im becoming that person who starts taking walks in the park outside my house cause i have taken its beauty for granted.

everything is so dam beautiful to me now and everything around me is like memories and good times and how ive spent my life, events that shape who i am, my experiences and all that kind of crap. It made me think of blachheath and vietnam which are probably the undeniably best friendship times ive had and fuck, those times were awesome. i can't even describe how much those moments mean to me. how much I loved being with my friends, chillin, getting really comfortable with each other and stuff.

Just the ability to be this dam comfortable with a group of people, like fate or destiny or someshit. i dont even. Just thinking that, my entire live's journey depended on when i was born, where i was placed, where i would go, the school and the environment where i was put in, and in all these factors, it was made so that i met you guys. and here we are. and yea, highschool is like 5 years and i probably knew you guys for less than that but somehow, after all we've done, it feels like a long time that ive known you. even like passas, who came much later, i feel like ive known him for as long as ive known smaz.

anyway, im at a state where everything looks freakin beautiful. i dont know why im typing this cause i should be studying for an exam but what ever. It doesn't matter anyway.