Saturday, February 25, 2012

ok I gotta get some shit off my chest

guys, at the moment I'm kinda shit. I really miss australia, especially you guys, right now. I'm just really homes...ick right now, and theres like, some things aobut this place that are a bit... um. I mean normally I just let it slide and don't mind it or whatever cause of cultural differences but I guess when I'm this homes*ck is when I would write something like this.

ok so number one. the attitudes of people here. people are people are peoplel are people, but at the same time, people are people. and I know its obvious that not everyone is gonna have the same opinion about everything all over the world but some of the differences here make me a bit uncomfortable. 
one is the really apparent gender roles. women do all the house work, men do all the work around the house. there was one point where i needed to wash some more clothes for school but there wasnt much time cause i was going to the theatre that night (which I've done 3 times, and its been pretty good lol) and i was like, hey can we just put some clothes in the washing machine so when we get back I can put them on the rack to dry and have for tomorrow or whatever? and he was like, no, I don't know how it's done in australia but here, that's a job only for the women. and so i rewore my clothes. (gross) 
also their attitudes towards homosexuality are sometimes a bit... ugh. like, they don't hate gay people or anything extreme, but they are pretty naive about it, like they were having an argument about gay marriage in class this one time (cause half the time we dont even do anything in class, its riduiculous) and the things i could make out from it were really... childish. stuff like, "it's gross." one of my closest classfriends (classmates/friends... I'm not actually sure who are my friends and who are my classmates yet :/ but its sort of coming together) told me today on the walk home from school that the guy walking in front of us is gay, and I was all "so what?" and he was all, "it makes me feel sick" [sorta kinda, I don't really know how to translate "mi fa schifo"] but idk if he was talking about the idea of gay people or the idea of gay sex... but yeah, whenever someone is gay they seem to make a big(ger) deal out of it, or at least it seems that way to me but maybe its just my language skills only being able to pick out the "lui e' gay" part

numero dos. I'm all distant and shit. I guess this is directly proportional to my being homesick but right now I'm just really detached from everything here; like, I don't even say things, I can't understand half of what's being said and when I get home I just sit at the laptop in the living room all day. I waste all day of every day on my laptop on the internet. Ok I guess me not saying things is ok cause, I still have trouble with the language,, I'm obviously better than where I was prior to coming but as it stands I can only understand half of what people say. some lessons in school are really easy cause they use a bunch of terms that are very similiar to english, like, "ipotosiso di Worf" and "esculturalizazione" for "Whorfian hypothesis" and "exculturation" in social sciences for example. tangent: so I admit it's kinda cool that we do shit like the Whorfian hypothesis (which is so ridiculous and untrue btw, linguistic determinism is bullshit because it's always simply a reversal of cause and effect - linguistics rocks guys) but 15 subjects is too much, and the way they do maths is stupid - it's much easier to mark but it teaches the students a way that takes way too long to do only because of the notation, they don't learn SPF/PSF and instead do only quadratic equation and the real discriminant, and they are always amazed when I solve a problem in like half a minute that takes them 4, but i can't explain how i do it because... bla bla bla whatever tangent end. 
but yeah, so I spend all my time. stuck at home. like, I'm stuck in my home. In my home, I'm stuck. I guess I could say, I'm just really... housebound. and also i'm really distant cause italians are really close to each other physically all the time and you guys know me, that's not me. so cause im further away, cant speak the language well enough and generally dont do things with them, and I'm really homesick, i feel really distant right now.

3. I suck at girls. 
[bro, don't even make a joke about that being literal, it's not that funny]

but at the same time, I know its awesome being here, and as much as I miss you guys (ok maybe not that much cause I miss you all a lot but that's just me right now) I'm glad to be here and I recognise that it's the coolest thing in the world that I am doing... and also just to be away from all the drama and the shit that's happening in australia right now is kind of nice, especially all that family shit [[btw if you guys see my sister say hey and stuff ok cause she's pretty fucked right now.]] and some people that piss me off (hmmmm who could that be)


on the plus side I'm going to rome with the other exchange students in late march-early april
---///ummm ok its 10.46 I started typing at 10.20 I need to go to bed cause I have to walk to school tomorrow and my punctuality is fucking ridiculous right now, in the last nearly 4 weeks I've been on time to school probably only 4 times. and school goes 6 days not 5.

so yeah. thanks for listening and stuff.
smaz out

5 comments:

Hoggle said...

oh man I know that feeling completely. Every time I go overseas I feel exactly the same, so I sympathise completely. I am almost finished my surprise, so can you message me your address and I will send it to you.
I hope all is ok, it'll get better I promise.

⚡ Ms Golden Week ⚡ said...

Housebound....

washing clothes? But putting clothes in washing machine isnt really washing it yourself isnt it? i mean the machine does it for you.

But yea, cultural differences can be crazy. Well at least you can see how crazy different people all over the world are and stuff. like you have multiple perspectives.

anyway, stay strong my friend and dont stay too homestuck.. err i mean housebound...

Xedalenar said...

DUDE, stay strong. You know as much as i do, i hope at least, that this was all to be expected and you can overcome this feeling of home-not well-ness. I'm already feeling anxious bro, i had an attack a couple nights ago and it left me feeling so scared about almost being a mute with foreign people that see things that are important to me....foreignly...(yeah i'll leave it at that.)

BUT, fuck the mute-ness, just be you and get out there and mime some shit, life gives you lemons you make lemonade and all that jazz (but it would be awful because that would be pure sour lemon, which i happen to like, i use the word 'awful' as in your economical expectancy because OH GOD WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT)

Smaz...Sam. Don't be afraid man. We all love to hang out with you, and miss you so much bro, you wanna know why?

Cause when you are with US you are YOU.

Now, go be YOU around them, ignore their pettiness or speak up (do what YOU want man) and soon you'll realise that coming back here will be harder than going there.

I'm sure you can do it Smaz. Right guys???

Xedalenar said...

and that mute thing is irrelevant cause you speak the language like a sir*

MS-17 said...

As Tupac would say, "Keep Ya Head Up".