Why

I'm trying to sleep but I can't and all I can think about is why do I have my accent??? Like one day I just decided I wanted to sound like this and now I can't talk out of it??? Even tho all my friends speak  in a different normal accent? And so does everyone else around me? I must sound so out of place all the time.

Also every time I go on some subreddit to read about things I like, I find that the rest of the fandom totally disagrees with me. It's kinda weird that we're all into this one niche but like different bits of it?? Or view areas within sooo polarizingly

Thank you like a version

sad days become ok nights

sometimes i wanna stay awake and keep staying awake because if i sleep i'll have to stop listening to the music. The ones with crazy arrangements get me man

Emotion Commotion

Hey,

My parents left my Canadian apartment last Sunday. After seeing them off, I spent the whole Sunday in my boyfriend's house playing board games and peeling off price tags of toys and dog supplies (he's going to put on higher prices and resell them on Amazon later).

On Monday, for the first time, I felt a wave of demotivation towards my cult hit me. It was a whole 10 seconds but I could feel it. I could feel for the first time, it wearing on me, and that I didn't care for a whole 10 seconds about wanting to make it better or questioning what I can do to improve processes and experiences etc. It disappeared but the memory of the feeling sat on my back and I had to drag it around for the rest of my day.

That morning, for what ever reason, I remembered to charge my ipod. While walking towards my next commitment, I put on the muzik to erase that dread. I chose "Power Up" playlist which is a collection of all the super pop-py hit singles of every Kpop album I owned.

I was walking to campus and by the 3rd song, I felt good. I felt more then good. I felt hyppeeed.
For no reason. But it felt nice, way better then the lagging feeling of anxiety, confusion and unmotivation before.

I realized that, it's so dam easy to change my own emotions just from music. I started to think about all those times that like, I'm on a subway and someone rude shoves me over and says some shit like "fucking person in the way" or something, and it makes me feel like really infuriated and pissed off. And just like some interactions with rude ass people can really make me feel like my day is ruined. That's like an instance that completely changes your emotions and mood.

It got me thinking, it's so dam easy to just have something small like re-manufacture the way you are feeling you know? Sometimes for temporary shallow emotions like these, I think its worth to force good emotions out. I guess they are all real? Like what makes an emotion more real then another? Like how can you know if the happiness you're feeling when you arbitrary create in the moment of temptations isn't real? I mean it sure isn't fulfilling but as long as you have a purpose for the good feelings and you know you can put it into something fulfilling later on, isn't it worth it? And what makes all the bad feelings we have real or meaningful? I don't mean it as a "suppress your emotions" kinda way. But for small temporary instances, its easy to just change how you feel to channel the positive energy into something that is really meaningful that reflects your real real emotions.

I don't know where I'm going with this, but I think sometimes we feel things, and it's not how we have to feel deep down on the inside. And we have the power to change it, since we're so easily affected anyway.

oh my gosh i love ikea toys help me

Ikea has new toys n i feel like they are stalking me cause theres soooo many good animals!!!
First, there is square dino:
 
There's two headed birb:

 THEN MORE BIRD

LOOK AT THIS CUTIE PUFFIN!!!!  And FLAMingo!!!

They have this CACTUS TOY!!!

AND ALSO A KAWAII STONED CAMEL!!! I WANT THEM!!!

BUT I am strong  and have self control, and I did not make any of the purchase at ikea today....

fly away on my zephyr

hey i know i keep posting this shit, but man i love the lyrics to this song

Can I get your hand to write on Just a piece of leg to bite on? What a night to fly my kite on Do you want to flash your light on? Take a look it's on display for you Coming down, no not today Did you meet your fortune teller Get it off with no propeller Do it up it’s on with Stella What a way to finally smell her Pickin’ up but not too strong for you Take a piece and pass it on Fly away on my zephyr I feel it more than ever And in this perfect weather We’ll find a place together Fly on my wind Rebel and a liberator Find a way to be a skater Rev it up to levitate her Super friendly aviator Take a look it's on display for you Comin’ down, no not today Fly away on my zephyr I feel it more than ever And in this perfect weather We’ll find a place together In the water where I center my emotion All the world can pass me by Fly away on my zephyr We’ll find a place together Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa - do you Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa - won't you Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Fly away on my zephyr I feel it more than ever And in this perfect weather We’ll find a place together In the water where I center my emotion All the world can pass me by Fly away on my zephyr We’re gonna live forever Forever

🙅🏼🙅🏼🙅🏼🙅🏼 "did you know" / a little poem about where my head is at 🙅🏼🙅🏼🙅🏼🙅🏼

ahhh ok so
here's where my head is at these days.
the theme of this topic is "my mental health" (yay that's exciting, always)

it's in the form of a poem called did you know (2016)
----
did you know that if you only study 2 units per semester you are technically a "part time student" and not a "full time student"
and did you know that if you are a "part time student" you are not eligible for youth allowance in australia
and did you know that if you are a "part time student" you are not eligible for a concession opal card in nsw
and did you know that if you don't get youth allowance due to being a "part time student" then you don't get it again until you are a full time student again

and did you know that I am doing three subjects at uni
but did you know that i desperately want to drop one of them. and did you know? that was even my plan from the start, to drop this unit as late as possible to get as much youth allowance and concession time out of it
like did you know i haven't been to a single class and i've missed some homework handins for this class
did you know also that it is a fairly technical subject that i am struggling to understand (database systems 2)

did you know the last day to withdraw from a unit without penalty is august 31
(did you know thats today!!)

did you also know that i am moving house soon and money will be tight
did you also know that i am struggling with everything in my life to the point of having frequent breakdowns
and did you know that academic stress often contributes a lot to these breakdowns
and did you know that these breakdowns involve physi-


and did you know i can't afford to keep this up both financially and mentally
did you know i have no idea what road to take, whether to drop the unit and pay more for everything with less money available, or to keep it up and go fucking insane and like, die (not literally die, like, die as in "im dieing" die)
and did yuo kno

wait no stop this isn't a poem this is just me explaining the fucking dilemma i'm in using formatting and the words "did you know" to trick you into reading it because i know you like poems ♥️
no i made that up i don't know if you like poems or not sorry it's bad to assume the experiences of other people. maybe you don't like poems that's cool too i love you anyway

anyway i hope i have made myself clear please just like give me a hug or something next time you see me because im going down the road of continuing this unit
and i don't know how i'll be able to cope with it or even begin to get back on track esp as it;s gonna need a lot of coding and coding makes my hands hurt again which makes me hate my life 4x as much

ugh im being a drama queen or some shit idk soz for being depressing im just stuck in my head etc.
aaaaaaaalso it's 1am and i've had alcohol for the first time in maybe 10 months and it affected me more than i thought it would so maybe this post came out of thattt umm idk idk bye

going through a lot of weird / normal feels

ah man

i don't know
i have a stupid job i guess which is good?? but it's giving me so much perspective on people
like people are so fucking predictable and stereotypical and shit talky and blah

i cant stand sitting in meetings and seeing everyone dress the same fucking uniform
like why is everyone in grey and white and navy
idk i guess this is a stupid complain
and i hate the way everyone talks the same
and i hate how people react so predictably to shit
and why cant people think for themselves

im not ready for adult life or ok with it

i miss everyone and i hate how we dont live in the same country... its been a while since the entire crew has been in 1 place together..
i know
im a fuckin child teenager person
also im sad because im a bit sick and also my leg doesnt work and my arms are always tired
and im so over explaining to people how i broke my leg or how to pronounce my name
and telling people where im from (eventho i am super proud to be south east or whatevs)

anyway im glad i dont work in a cafe or science lab as my main income because this broken leg thing would not fly.

i just.. what is life.. like why.. people are so fucking caught up..

i'm so lucky to have such beautiful friends though

0  clue with wtf im doin errday

oh wait more hui things!

didyou kno apparently skateboarding will be an olympic sport in 2020?? like wtf??/ thats mental!

also one piece is the best selling manga series in history as of this month, with 380 million copies printed worldwide! how dope is that!

torturing myself

still having issues getting over this
first world problems i suppose
but fuck man this song gives me life
as soon as that guitar started man
tears
so many tears


ah man help me

Man perspective really are a killer

I have to write this down here, i just have to.
So like, at my cafe i'm a waiter, along with hway there. And tonight I had a function from 9pm to 1am, where i had to bring out canapes and booze for the crowds. One of the bartender had given his shift to his Czech Republican mate (they're both from there) and he was to act as 'manager' but not really, cause the real manager was away he was really at the same level from us (his name too, Alex).

But like yo. So i see him from that perspective. "He's not really the manager, but rather just like us, and the same level," so I treated him that way. He tried to from me and Adrienne in line and make us have that kinda 'fear' perse by saying orders and things... but my perspective still prevailed.

SO then, he took it all as a joke, and had the 'ahhh you guys are right, let's just get through this' attitude.

Therefore, what is the mode of thinking that the older Alex had?
-a) He entered the cafe thinking; I am taking over for the other manager, so i gotta make sure they are in line. *kids rebel* ok nevermind that. :\
-b) He entered the cafe thinking, ahhhh they know whatsup, I'll just make some superiority jokes and they'll do the rest
-c) He entered the cafe thinking, Man, wtf am I doing here. Oh well, gotta impress the boss, make sure to play along with the kids for a while.

-d) He entered the cafe thinking, maybe they're interesting, idk, woop nup they're fisty better not try to intervene.

Like yo, there are so many more options.

Fuck man. People are complicated, and I love it. There will be a time when we will be able to categorise personality, so enjoy this anarchy of understanding whilst you can

Peace

That stupid fucking face.

So like for work right,

I'm stuck in the middle of these  2 bosses for like the next week until one leaves.

And this fucking shitty boss has  been away so much, I am talking about my communications with my other boss or like stuff I've done without him.

Everytime I do  this, he gets this frowny face and is like 'Why wasn't I included in this?'

I'm like...


In my head:

You really want  to know? Cause in like 3 months, you have been not here at fucking all. The only reason this place has had any marketing support is because of me.

They've got admin handled, but I've dealt with literally everything marketing related, and really except like one thing, I still  am, but then he  get's that stupid fucking 'why wasn't I included in this?' face

And I want to punch him.


I'm just like so done with him and like his face and his like attitude.

I'm sure they'll be ok while I'm away, but it's like at the level where there are things I have to prepare like a week in advance.

And I'm not looking forward to my inbox coming back. 100% that's gonna be like 500+ emails.

Work

Soon I have a job coming up in Lake Munmorah, which is real close to Lake Macquarie where we had blackheath 2.0. (Was it 2.5? I can't remember). I'll be there for 2 weeks, and my auntie has a holiday house at a resort location there, which luckily no one had booked out at that time (given usually it's a spring/summer location). I'm looking so forward to living up there for the weekdays (i'll come back for the weekends), it's gonna be quiet and I'll have the place to myself to do as I please.

If anyone wants to drive/train up to me I can give you the address and cook you a killer meal

Today I finished my last class of my entire university life

My graduation will be in November.

 I'm running out of reasons to be in the city of toronto that is so strange and weird to the point that systematic racism exists in my own cult but people have no clue about it.

 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 My last class was an art class about curating. it was aight but we got a chance to curate our own exhibition for our final project. So my project was about performance art and how to represent it. Cause playing videos or showing performance art might not be enough.

 So my project was like 3 works:
One where the artist stares into the eyes of an audience member for 10 minutes
One where the artists communicate to each other with semaphore flags
One where the artist is google and people ask them questions

So for my show, I made everyone in my class do it.

Like I made them stare into the eyes of each other, had people pretend to be google and other class people ask them random questions and had people communicate with flags.

It was terribly awkward. but like good? People immediately sat infront of someone they knew and were like, i hate making eye contact etc...
And people didn't want to ask questions ...

But it was like ok cause it was a reflection of them and our society. The whole thing was so uncomfortable and awkward. I was like nervous laughing my way through it and my prof was like...

-----------------

Anyway, this is the way i ended my uni life. Afterwards i saw all my friends graduate.

I talk about work too much

Man

I realised today, I would totally have quit my job if like I didn't like the company or the people.

But I like my other bosses, and like the senior people, the company also is like really left wing which is really nice.

Yeah but if it wasn't, I would have quit, like a month ago, or maybe after my holiday/found a new job.



On another note, my life is just work, that's what I do now, I work, and I know a lot about work things. I spend 10 hours a day at work. Then I get like a few hours of free time  and then I sleep for 8 hours.
Fun life I lead.


On a different note, Japan in 2 weeks.


On another note - I wonder what it's gonna be like going back to answering phones after all this, probably kind of boring. Maybe not, we'll see, I'm still gonna have to answer the phones, but maybe it won't  be just admin, there is a fair bit of admin though.

It's gonna feel a bit like being demoted, a bit sad really, after all the work I put in. I wonder if they realise how much I've actually put in this past 3 months.

I think I just need a break.

hey look im hwei

black rain frog

much face

very wow

^^how i look after i've finished uni with no job till july

Blanford's rock agama

Today I learnt about the existence of this lizard.
so beautiful. what a bad ass

oh wait look at this fan-throated lizard



what the heck how did nature do this


they like fully battle and shit wow

omg sorry im not done yet


it looks like some royal ass art origami thing happening wow


This one freaks me out a little bit ^

Bell's anglehead lizard:

look at that acid throat thing!!

Today I realized I have no hesitation to fight

Two Day ago,

I go into my student cult office. It smells like weed and cigarettes. In my head I'm like ???? I look to the only member in the office. Immediately he says "Ru we got reported. I mean not report there was three of us and we were smoking up on the balcony I'm sorry Ru it's 4/20" (He says this without any pauses). 

I'm like speechless?? Cause firstly I don't know how to deal with this situation and recently I've been like angry over a lot of things in my cult. So I'm like, dude you guys are really irresponsible. I go to my meeting and I'm like I'm going to fire these people. 

Today,

I call up this dude to get his full story straight. at 10 pm another dude who was mentioned called me up to be like "Yo Ru I'm okay with whatever consequence you give me, I'll take responsibility for my actions etc. etc." So I'm all like, in cult president mode being like yea dude you were really irresponsible etc etc. 

But then on the street (I'm on the phone on the street), some dude (accompanied by a large group of friends) pats my head. It takes me a while to realize and then in my head I'm like, I gotta pat this dude's head back. So to the phone, I'm like, HOLD UP HOLD UP. 

And I turn to that dude and start walking up to him. He like runs the fuck away. And then this chick grabs me and is like "YO BITCH GO BACK TO ASIA" 

and I'm like "YOU AINT EVEN PART OF THIS" and pushes her hand away and I turn back to that guy. Then the chick yells "chow chow"??? And this other chick takes and my hat and i turn to her immediately and grab her and shes like shouting and another dude is like, yo your hats on the ground and I'm like don't do that bitch and another dude tries to grab my phone but fails and i immediately grab him and im like what the fuck was that about??? and the guy who initially pat my head was like, yo add me on instagram and i was like I aint got time for that and then one friend jumps in and his like OK OK SHOWS OVER BYE WE DONE BYEE and pulls his friend away. 

And then they go and I'm still on the phone and I was like, trying to tell this kid to like not do drugs in the office but then mid way i randomly did something dumb and picked a fight with a group of people and like how do i even life/????

Ok the end. love u all. 

hey can i just say i really like this song

italians and facebook posts part numbers don't exist

ok so one: my phone has a really really good resolution. i really love this phone holy shit.
two: i love humans man. this isn't my usual vein of, "wow italians? racist ok" or sexist or whatever else bs conservative values they hold largely
this is just something really beautiful and i think i want to share it because it's lovely
i really like to interact and observe humans. human sentiment is like a resource. in the times when i feel particularly disassociative (which is a lot) i feel like i hold the objective to be: feel whatever makes you human, and then you are human. humanity is important. it is my goal almost, in a perverse way... i mean, I am human right? yet I crave instances of humanity in place of my own. I hope this makes sense ok enough lets fukken get on with it carnt

tradux (it's a fairly literal translation)
My promise for my children that I will uphold for as long as I live.
First: I am your parent.
Second: I am your friend.
I will persecute you, I will go out of my mind for you, I will pray for you, I will drive you crazy, I will be your greatest demon and I will hunt you down like a hound, if that's required because I LOVE YOU!
When you understand this, I will know that you are a person who is adult and responsible. You won't EVER find anyone who loves you, cares for you, prays and worries for you more than me! If you don't hate me at least once in your life - it means I'm not doing my job well.
Share if you are a parent and click 'like'.

(nb i think it's really cute that 'to click' in italian is 'cliccare')

== this was shared by a girl i met in spain (an italian obvs) who is not a parent but who seems fit to go down that role pretty soon, like at the age of 22. Because in italy family is important. usually i view girls who consign themselves to having kids early and who fixate on motherhood from a young age with contempt, esp because it's kind of still the norm in 21st century italy, and because i want these girls to know they can have any fucking future they want if they leave that fucking country. Italy has really bad sexism problems holy shit!!!
but at the same time this is kinda beautiful too and i think i'm just jaded because i never got to experience the kind of family life italians do where everyone is really close (even living there i felt like an outsider in their families i could not adjust totally but it was defs my fault). i am definitely not obsessed with my mother the way *all italians* are, and i also e.g. never really fought with my parents, and so i think it's really not my place to judge.

anyway isn't humanity great. this is such a pure expression of humanity i love it

so i have this side blog

it's best-minion-memes.tumblr.com and i ran it for like 5 seconds before i got bored with the idea

the point was to make something dumb and anti-society bs because im basically still an 'edgy' teenager (that's such a dumb word made to dismiss/belittle people who think critically about issues in their society. fuck herd mentality)

anyway someone submitted this???? what? why?? why do you? do this? like?

I don't understand? this is not? good? on? any? level?
is the joke? that black people's? lives? are worth less? and the way that you are gonna say that is by pretending you murdered a black person???????????
is the joke that? there's a juxtaposition? of a dumb mascot? with a violent act?
is the joke that there is no joke? and that the meme is poorly constructed? because there's enough of a seed of a joke that this can not be the case and the meme is not obviously a bad meme - there's no artefacting or emoji or other high-level countermeme techniques present, and the meme only features one meme creation website logo so this cannot be the case!!

there is no dumb existentialism here. what social commentary there is is clouded by the fact that the meme does not seem to be overtly critical of the idea of killing a black (sorry, capital-B Black) stranger; if it's satire then they haven't put enough thought into it to make it critical, and yeah i guess it's debatable whether the point of satire is to be invisible, but in this case i would say it's definitely not clever enough to pass for satire.
it's probably just some bored white young teen who harbors racist ideas putting it out there and using the form of "meme" to cover up his racist intent, like a dog-whistle situation. putting "xd so fune meme xd xd lol" as the caption is the equivalent of saying "no offence" after like, killing a random stranger who was Black

tldr: i take my memes really seriously and i will not be pressing "post" on this meme, because it violates my dead sideblog's stringent community standards.

and also i am completely full of shit wow look at those words i use "high-level countermeme techniques" god what the hell am i even saying why do i talk so convolutedly
no tbh i love it 

we literally don't need to think about what happens after death

for thousands of years, civilisations and cultures have had their own ideas of what happens after death. These made up myths and theories are so well believed that people allocate a large amount of time, effort and resources into catering for the dead and preparing for their own death.

after all our sciencing and thinking and worshipping and building, humans are no closer to knowing what happens after death than we did thousands of years ago.

and tbh, it doesnt matter. at all. yet everyone is so fascinated with it. like shouldnt we focus on more important things? like im not saying dont respect the dead, i mean like, people who fear hell, or believe in reincarnation etc

I mean all these myths and stories are beautiful in their own way, are certainly entertaining and thought provoking, but is there really a point in caring about what happens?

will my soul leave my body? where will i go to? will i see my family?

like does that matter at all? does that change anything that happens while we're alive? why cant we accept the boring but also incredible fate of a rotted conclusion that recycles our remains into the earth.

like seriously people buy expensive urns and jewels for their dead for good luck or whatever or try not to sin, like why are we so preoccupied with what happens after death, despite 0 evidence for a long, long time?

ok tho

at some point in the future we (humans) will develop computers that are sentient
and at some point further on sentience will be cheap and easy to manufacture like today's basic computer chips
and at some point after that there will be sex robots with the cheap sentience chips built into them
they will be consciousnesses brought into existence for the sole purpose of fulfilling human sexual needs.
there might even be moral debates about it because some people will see them as slaves and some will argue that they were invented for that purpose only and that their consciousness will be calibrated such that they achieve complete fulfillment from fucking humans, just how we need food

on a completely unrelated note guys i really can't wait for the future

ooft

so much work to do
but im procrastinating
urghhhhh
im just sitting here staring at all my downloaded files i need to open and work on
ehhhhhhhh


(continues doing survivor related things)
(I'll never be apologetic for always bringing up my religion)
(I'm not a religious person I just have a relationship with jesus)

fuck depression,

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

why is it so hard to open up to people or to reach out or just to even be honest

cause like everyone would get it and everyone would help if they could

I mean everyone goes through the same shit right.

I hate this

idk I just need to put these words somewhere to make them real so that they aren't just sitting in my head doing damage

I love you guys so much <3

omfg

this line up bro.

i don't know why i keep discovering festivals i cant go to
but seriously. Radiohead and Fergie +++ in Osaka???

btw the 2014 lineup of summer sonic included Queen, Adam lambert, arctic monkeys and a shit ton of other huge british and american rock.

why,

Ahh it begins again

Have a song. It is now my 'it has just ended, but only just begun' kind of song to play. I finally finish uni after this semester, but who knows where i'll be after. Hopefully Japan haha.. jesus why am I so into that country anyway

I wanna see this in the movies

I'm a big cry baby

For some reason,
 I cry a lot in EVERY situation.
Like literally if I feel close enough to someone I end up crying in front of them ALL the time.

 Recently, I've been crying on the walk home from school almost everyday And just now I cried on the bus to my meeting and then on the train to my other commitment and then a few times inbetween skype calls and making art work.

 And then i cry doing random things, like when i was working on my last art project, or doing photoshop and films too, man I'm a wreck.

I watched the ended of one the arcs in hunterXhunter and I was a mess. My boyfriend was like ????????? but then im always like that.

 Like the other day he was like, hey ru how are you, and for some reason i started crying.

 And it isn't like sad crying??? I don't know. And listening to a lot of songs also makes me cry, like i did for this one too. It's an ok song i guess.

 On a positive note, i'm doing ok in school, no know what im doing in life but making art. xx

Complains

urghhhh

I was on the facebook and the news told me that "uptown funk" won song of the year
ughhrhrhhhhhgh
what an irritating basic song.

why
and then
fucking basic bitch aka neo taylor swift, wins album of the year
were there no better albums that her basic literal bs music??????

she used to be good

by no means do my opinions represent any majority or a technical point of view but
urghhh
why
at this rate that 'cant feel my face' shit could also be song of the month or whatever

like are there seriously no better musicians and songs throughout the entirety of last year?? i just. merhhhhh

Edit: I just watched beyonce's formation
dude man even when you wanna not like her because she's so mainstream, you cannot deny that she's good. man I cannot fault her musicality and positive entertainment value. wow.

i just had one of the most uncomfortable counselor sessions of my life

this is just a dump of things im feeling and thinking right now and its very personal and kind of at the core of who i am so apologies in advance

but i feel like i gotta say the stuff you know. get it out there or some shit.
like, i was cool talking about the more surface level stuff but i said all of it and my counselor put two and two together and said basically like
"you feel guilty for asserting yourself"

welp.i've basically been trying to suppress my teenage years but turns out they are super relevant to my own growth as a person
so like i never had a rebellious stage as a teenager
and it's bc my parents never gave me the affection or attention that i needed
i was fucking anorexic (read: i'm still basically anorexic) and nobody paid attention or took it seriously
and every time i tried to bring it up it was dismissed bc "guys don't get anorexia"  which i know they didnt believe but it was the hand-wavy way they used to ignore my problems and pretend everything was fine
and every time i tried to bring up that i was depressed it was dismissed, until the Rhiannon shit went down and they couldnt ignore it and all that happened was i got antidepressants until i got over the depression myself

and basically the end result of that is that a) i never discovered myself as a teenager like you're supposed to and b) every time i have to stand up for myself i devalue my own importance and i try too hard to make everyone else happy but i basically don't think of myself as being worthy of having that happiness.
every time i need to assert myself (e.g. recently i wanted to quit my job bc it's making my hands really bad) i feel really guilty about it!!
anyway that's just a fucked up thing about myself, that i can't be assertive because i've been conditioned to feel shameful about it.

counseling is super good once you open yourself up. but it's super fucking uncomfortable too sometimes haha ha fuck

ok cool thanks for listening and i love you guys ❤️ goodbye

origin of the survivor theme song

Hey I think I mentioned it before but the Survivor theme song has some funky origins. So most of you guys will recognize it as this:


But did yuo know that the song was originally a super old (dates back to early 18th century) love song with Russian origins. According to a Reddit post, the song contains a lot of old expressions that are no longer being used in modern Russian and cannot be translated accurately into English. Here's a lady singing it (go to 0:49)


And here's an updated version of the folk song by a Russian composer in 1988. This is seriously legit an amazing song:



I guess this is kinda surprising since the Survivor song sounds super chanty/tribal/islandy. The moar you kno.

I'm reading an excellent book that's essentially a compilation of english and science essays by Stephen Jay Gould

The book has loads of fun facts but more importantly, it communicates reasonable and rational stuff that I think of that I can't put in words. Basically I agree with everything the book says and it makes me feel good.

The book was written 24 years ago but some of the text is more relevant today than ever.

Here's a quote i really enjoyed:
'The world of USA Today is a realm of instant fact and no analysis.'

YES. THIS.

like for example, people on the facebook/tumblr who literally repost some statement that overlays a picture about how GM food is bad (the food itself is not, everything we eat has genes like come on); how you can buy dangerous diseases online (how else are we going to study them and created preventatives you idiots) and even; why vaccinations are bad (why do you ignore the science and history).

Like why do people believe stuff so easily?? If they cared to expand their knowledge or cared enough about the information to post it then why don't they look it up and find out for themselves? These people only care about the information as they're reading it or as a way to "one-up" other people. It's not hard to check the sources.
Or shit like "why the earth is rly flat!!1"

there's like 1 video on it on the youtube. there's 1000+ resources and evidence that the earth is not. why do people go out of their way to be reversists?

The answer is simple. Because emotion. Because it's exciting to go against the grain. But that's all people care about. "Wake up sheeple" says some government-paranoid fuck on my facebook who doesnt trust medical science because they think that "the government" and "evil scientist" are synonymous/ closely related. WHY DON'T YOU LOOK AT THE EVIDENCE YOURSELF. THE INFO IS OUT THERE

People straight up don't care about the truth. they rather be wow'd. they rather impress other people, they would rather flaunt a meaningless statement. 

That's why creationists still exist. Because it's more 'impressive' that a single figure boomed down on our planet and started life, instead of the idea of a gradual continuity. a slow progression. 

And what about the fucks who are like 'oh but we don't really know, everything is possible'

like dude. you want to believe something that has a 1% chance of being real instead of something else that has 77% chance, because you want to be different, because 'anything is possible'. like mate, you are lacking common sense. 

ok, another good quote from the book: "Europeans learned about corn and potatoes from Native Americans and gave them smallpox in return".

also

"the cat who fell off a roof in Topeka (and lived) gets the same space as the Soviet withdrawal from Afghanistan. Equality is a magnificent system for human rights and morality in general, but not for the evaluation of information. We are bombarded with too much in our inordinately complex world; if we cannot sort the trivial from the profound, we are lost in terminal overload. The criteria for sorting must involve context and theory- the larger perspective that a good education provides"

Dude this problem is 700% worse today. Today we have the burden that is celebrities and their pathetic lives that keep getting reported on; what they wear, what they do, whether they have kids etc etc. I wish we could just ignore all that bs and focus on the important shit. I wish there was no demand for that mindless crap and they would stop providing news stories on shit like that.

rant over.

spanish and facebook posts: the depressing yet completely obvious sequel to italians and memes

ok well not really so much of a sequel as just a depressing reminder that so many europeans (and most of the first world populace actually somehow) (and probably most people full stop) are cunts and I feel so fucking strongly about this bullshit that I can't not share fuckk.
don't get me wrong i've seen some horrible memes from spanish people i just thought i'd start with this. less of a meme and more of... i mean, what even is this shit. please i hope you imagine correctly the intonation i use when i say the word "shit" just then, like imagine me with my face all twisted up and looking down on this

yeah you might have to click it to see it in all it's glory.
and yes. that image was actually legit that low quality, with the arrow buttons actually part of the image. you can barely read it

translation and caricature: (each line is a sign, left to right)
socialist (note that he's short and unkempt and meant to look like he's stoned bc weed = bad): "YOU MUST INTEGRATE YOURSELF WITH THE FOREIGNERS"
native south american (this is cute, this is one you don't usually see in the equivalent vitriolic rhino shit from other countries): "EXTERMINATE THE EUROPEANS" (wait but the europeans... did that to the south americans... umm...)
seedy creepy pedophile caricature clutching onto kid because that's what right wing people are going to draw in their hate cartoons: "LEGALISE PEDOPHILIA ALREADY!" (what world do you live in where you think people fight for this cause. what the actual fuck)
punk w mohawk: "ANARCHY OR DEATH" (lol punk is dead m8)
very racially caricatured terrorist "ALLAHU AKBAR! ALLAHU AKBAR!"
i can't read the next one but i'm assuming it's a strawman feminist because of the symbol below the text 
terrorist in niqab that they probably think is a burqa: "ACCEPT ISLAM, INFIDELS"
the gay fatcat: "GAY" "AGAINST TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE" like he literally just says his stance on the issue on a piece of cardboard also fuck that noise like as if gay people don't want traditional marriages to happen. like it's not like you can only choose between gay or straight marriage. what the fuck is wrong with your marriage if you feel you need to safeguard "marriage" from "the gays." your marriage is probably shit ok let's not kid ourselves your marriage is shit because you married someone you hate who hates you because you hate fucking everyone. you have no meaningful connections to a single other human being and this hateful shit is how it manifests ok moving on (also is it supposed to be some damning of the corporate world because your protagonist is an accountant or runs numbers for marketing for all we know)
angry woman "fascist!" also is this supposed that in your view women can't get angry bc then you paint them as ugle. jesus man
lol who wants to be a balding milquetoast 50-something businessman why do you choose this as your avatar you're drawing the cartoon yourself you know that. you could choose anyone. idealise yourself a little. don't just go straight for the frozen food section in your supermarket, c'mon how hard is it to chop vegetables yourself, it's your turn to cook, that's just kinda sad?... what do you mean you missed your daughters play at school? I mean you don't even know her that well. like i bet you couldn't tell me the names of her friends. oh and you forgot your anniversary too are we supposed to be sympathetic towards you for having a terrible marriage? okay so i made the majority of these descriptors up but you can see the type of person that i associate with the exact image of the person you've chosen to represent yourself as in this cartoon: "DEFEND, ENCOURAGE AND PROTECT YOUR SPANISH CULTURE [spanish flag]" nb spanish culture died with franco

for reference comments on the image in fb:
1) "that's the sad reality that we must change" (idk if this is pro or against but im gonna guess from context it's pro the opinions smugly-shat-out-onto-the-floor by the original picture)
2) "what's happening in spain is deplorable, so many laws and few obligations"
3) "spanish culture?"

ok it's basically just hate speech actually like it's one of those misguided things where right wing people try to justify the fact that they hate anybody not like them passionately and also they pretty much hate everyone like them and they live their tiny little lives embracing hate and hating their friends and their life and then acting victimised by it because they have never had to face any real pain or discrimination in their fucking tiny little village person lives. they are usually white and men and straight and would probably not hesitate to disown a child for being gay. can I just say, from my experiences, spain is a country where a huge number of the population is actively fascist. literally the same as defending the right to be a bigot. it's such dog whistle bullshit everyone actually knows that underneath the very very transparent facade, they deep down believe in eugenics and would probably commit mass shootings without thinking twice.
no like actually though i have trouble seeing far right wing people as being capable of having any ounce of compassion at all it just seems like they live small lives with zero exposure to the outside world at fucking all!!! like what
is this just a base reaction to people pointing out that you are a fascist because you pretty much hate everything? they are acting as if "defending traditions and culture" is this noble thing that because you stand under that banner, you get the okay to put everyone in these tiny little boxes that are specifically out to get you because because.
but it gets so much worse because the spanish flag is still so strongly associated with Franco and his fascist regime like basically anyone who says this shit probably actually would have turned their neighbours in to the secret police or the catholic church.

fuck i'm out. i know it's really not worth the effort but it's like, you're a person i knew in real life. you're 20. fucking hell man. i actually unfriended him after this and usually i like to keep the foreign language peeps as friends for language practice and shit

(i feel like i'm not that good at explaining or describing things haha)

Video game vision is coming back

Where special events are like cut scenes, interactions with people are option based and strategic, a general lack of high emotion but still passionate somehow. I don't mind it, it just makes me feel dull and grade everything I do in a ranking from 'S/A/B/C/F.' For example, if i do the dishes afterwards i imagine the rewards screen after, look at time taken see a "B" or something come up. Speaking with people i take more time to think ahead about what is coming in the conversation, so i talk slower and use body gestures that aren't really mine but rather that of a business man or something.
Shoulda stopped playing games as a kid, i'd be so much more productive otherwise. I wonder what normal people do to waste time alone... Maybe they're never alone; hence they haven't developed a self-defining character.
I want to observe people's daily movements, understand why they do things and what they're thinking of surroundings; how much they notice or care (e.g a construction company on a sidewalk, or broken glass on the street).

Man this was a gem in game

so i bought a little cable for my battery

like i have this portable battery that i carry around to improve the (bloody hopeless) battery life on my phone
and so i saw this cable & fuckken, went for it bc it's the perfect accessory.

anyway then i realised to fit this on my battery (which has a little keyring slot) I'm gonna need like, a jewellery split-ring
and i was looking online and turns out they sell them on ebay for $2.50 for 100
so I bought 100 3mm rings and 100 4mm rings and I just need one and I bought 200 bc I don't know what size I need.

man we live in such a time of excess s2g

Why do i suck so much at doing essays.. This is last one i'll probably ever do and i'm struggling to put any words onto a document.
Essays are so bs sometimes... I feel they are making us write for the sake of writing.

this article was really good and i think quite accurate

I really liked it I think it is quite insightful into like, some shit. and the links they link to are all good too

Life is great right now

I wanna travel everywhere haha. I don't want a house/car or anything else that'll tie me down just yet. I may regret this 40 years down the line, but i love it

HOLY SHIT TAKE ME TO LISBON

LOOK AT THIS FUCKING LINE UP
LIKE
ARE
YOU
KIDDING
ME
its $119 euros for all 3 days
thats 182 bucks in Aus currency
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Alex if you're out of the country by then you have to go holy shit

there are so many rays of hope

Last night I had a dream where marlena, jon, hogg, smaz and I went to an aquarium. At the end bit, there was a petting section but it was a massive pool and you could get in with sharks and rays.

In the pool, there was a huge leopard print stingray that no one dared to touch. It like swam towards me and gave me a big cuddle. it was amazing.

anyway, I started looking up leopard print rays and the one in my dream is actually known as a Whipray! Here it is:

Its so cute.

There are many kinds of whiprays and they're fully different to other rays, like they have longer tails and no tail fins. Here's a honeycomb whipray!

The leopard whipray's patterns are less jagged than the honeycombs and apparently the colour is different. idk.
But look at all the kinds of rays that are out there!

I mean this spotted eagle ray!! Like look at this majestic thing!


Is this manta ray even real?? look at the humans!! these rays can grow to 7m in width or more!


the xingu river ray! sooo kawaii


raspy river ray family! also, female rays give birth! just like sharks! batoids are incredible

full  story on raspy river rays mating here. the male apparently bites the female throughout mating

my mind is just so blown at how diverse rays are! and we know so little about them. even the famous big ones. I didnt even know rays chilled in freshwaters. Most rays are threatened because of habitat loss but new species are still being discovered (2 species newly discovered in south america in 2013! like damn!) 

italians and memes again

no actually i should just call this one, "this one italian guy is super racist and homophobic and for some reason i keep getting sad about it"

TRADUX:
1 "You (pl) party, you (pl) party..."
    "Regardless, in Italy"

2  "The law about gay marriage"
    "will never be approved"

3  ""
    "Faggots"

11 people like this
 (the comment: "eeeeexactlyyyy")

anyway he's basically one of the same guys who keeps posting this kind of stuff and I don't know why it keeps getting to me but it does.

for context this is coming off the back of a possible referendum to allow gay marriage in italy (loll) and the pope chiming in being all "yeah nah cunts straight people only." (side note: holy shit the picture used in that article was taken from a rally that I was actually at when it happened in Rome in early december last year what)

 so like was the strip just an excuse for him to use the word "froci" (± translated as 'faggots')
i mean come on


but also the guy is super misogynistic as well like he's a real catch. i wish i could say it's just him, he just happens to be the prototypical example of such a person is all

its 2016 and i still type onemanga.com into the url bar accidentally

RIP the original and best

hatin & spewin

hey guys
this is a rant
i am sad
so very sad

still havnt been offered a scholarship
thats ok
whats not ok is other people who literally have done jack all last year and who have shitty GPAs have been offered one.
like dude
i have research experience
and a pretty good GPA
+ I worked my butt of every single day last year
and did an extra research unit
for fucks sake
like seriously
people who did not do shit. only came in 2-3 days a week. who didnt even turn up to lectures for 2 years. who literally have a pass average.
i am mad as hell.

why do people keep getting handouts despite not doin shit
like fuck i put my all into my shit last year
i cant think of anything i could have had improved on

fuck it man
i give up
what is this system
all that cryin and sweating
i couldnt even work for real money last year
what even is the point

happy new year!!

i love you all so much
no matter whatever bs is going on in your life I'm always down to hang out or talk

bah after new years im emotionally exhausted but i feel so much love for and from you guys. is this just chemical? god i hope not i wanna always feel this way <4
how is it 2016 already what